Ipse Dixit: You Might Be a Lawyer . . .

• Jurisdiction: United States
• Publication year: 2022

Ipse Dixit: You Might Be a Lawyer . . .

So, I'm in the Wal-Mart, in Galliano, in the checkout line, in a T-shirt and shorts, and the cashier says, "You a lawyer?" Is it that obvious? It certainly wasn't because of what I was buying: fishing tackle . . . fish hooks, corks, some VooDoo Shrimp and The Deadly Dudley Mauler Shrimp.

What is it about us? Do we exude something different? What makes folks think we might be lawyers?

Well, the other night—in the middle of the night—I was flipping through the standard 500 channels, trying to find something to fall asleep to, and I landed on Jeff Foxworthy explaining how ". . . you just might be a redneck . . ." You know, "If you own a home that is mobile and five cars that aren't, you just might be a redneck." Funny stuff.

I thought about why I couldn't get back to sleep and I realized it was because I was thinking about an upcoming court appearance. Then, this article came to me.

If you've ever been unable to fall asleep in the middle of the night because you're arguing, in your mind, a motion you are going to argue tomorrow morning, you just might be a lawyer.

If you've ever gotten up in the middle of the night and dashed to your office to make sure that case doesn't prescribe tomorrow!, you just might be a lawyer.

If you've ever left your coat hanging on the back of your chair so your senior partner would think you must be just down the hall, you just might be a lawyer.

If you've ever put on the same blue pinstriped suit that your co-counsel put on the first day of a jury trial, you just might be a lawyer.

If you've ever gone from a paper calendar to a computer calendar and want your paper calendar back, you just might be a lawyer.

If you've ever sat through the judge's oral reasons for judgment and thought, "He must have attended a different trial," you just might be a lawyer.

If you've ever gotten to the end of spending an hour writing a killer brief and your computer freezes and won't speak to you, you just might be a lawyer.

If you've ever been in court and thought to yourself, "That is the dumbest argument I...