Ipse Dixit: Apocrypha

• Jurisdiction: United States
• Publication year: 2022

Ipse Dixit: Apocrypha

So it was May 1991. Judge Henry (Hank) Politz, appointed to the U.S. 5th Circuit Court of Appeals in 1979 (chief judge, 1992-99), agreed to speak at the Baton Rouge Bar Association's Bench Bar Conference in Perdido Key, Alabama.

Packed house. During his presentation, Judge Politz told an entertaining story, as only he could tell one, about a time when, as a 5th Circuit judge, he wanted to have some federal trial court experience and asked the Chief Judge at the time to assign him to try cases in Texas federal district court in San Antonio.

Judge Politz enthralled the audience with this story about one such trial. (Read this story in your mind with a deep Cajun accent, like you were born in 1932 and raised in Napoleonville—which he was—an accent somewhere between Justin Wilson and John Folse, but better, more animated and much more exaggerated.)

I was frustrated by three days of endless objections and sidebars. I warned the lawyers to stop all the needless objections and bickering. On the fourth morning, one of the lawyers asked to approach for a sidebar. I said, "Buster, this better be good."
He said, "Your Honor, Juror Number 6 doesn't look like the Mrs. Rodriguez who was there yesterday."
I must have had a puzzled look on my face, like Whaaaat!? Opposing counsel said, "I think he's right, your honor."
Whoa . . . How often does this come up? Like . . . never.
I looked at Juror Number 6 and thought, you know, they might be right. After all of the jurors were excused for a break, except for Juror Number 6, I asked her, "Ma'am, are you Mrs. Rodriguez?" She said, "Yes, sir, yes I am." I said, "Have you been here since the beginning of this case?" She said, "No, sir. I am Mrs. Rodriguez's sister-in-law, so I am, in fact, a Mrs. Rodriguez, just not the Mrs. Rodriguez who was here yesterday."

The late Judge Henry (Hank) Politz, U.S. 5 th Circuit Court of Appeals. Photo courtesy of the Politz Family.

Shocked, I said, "So where is the Mrs. Rodriguez, and why isn't she here?"
"Well, you see, Judge, my sister-in-law asked me to 'catch the jury' today because she had a beauty parlor appointment to get ready for an award dinner tonight where her husband was to be honored. It's really, really important. She plans to be back later this afternoon to finish 'catching the jury.'"
Needless to say, everyone needed to take a break, so I got all the lawyers in chambers to see if they would agree to letting a five-person jury decide the case. Defense

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