Ipse Dixit: Gee, It's Good to Be Back Home Again

• Jurisdiction: United States
• Publication year: 2022

Ipse Dixit: Gee, It's Good to Be Back Home Again

As usual, here I sit in the Atlanta airport. I've been in Chicago for three weeks trying a case under extremely adverse conditions. Tough case. Tough judge. Tough jurisdiction. Circuit Court for Cook County. Two-week trial.

But it's over. I'm going home.

The conclusion of every long trial gives us pause for reflection. This one even more so. As I sit here remembering this ordeal and looking forward to going home, I reflect on what it was like to step into another lawyer's shoes—a Cook County Lawyer—and be him for two weeks.

What I learned from the experience is something I want to share, and I can sum it up in one phrase:

Lawyers in Baton Rouge Have It Made

When I got home I wanted to go to the steps of the courthouse, kneel down, and kiss them.

Here are a few things they have that we don't have that we don't want:

1. Trial starts at 9:30 on Monday. Be there. You don't know who the judge is yet. You arrived to greet the "Assignments Judge" along with about 200 other lawyers whose jury trials are set to go that day. Five-page docket, 25 cases per page. We, of course, reside on page 5. Several hours pass as the lawyers who are being "sent out" for trial today whine to the judge about how they are not ready for trial. As judges are wont to do, they climb all over the lawyers for not being ready. Lawyers stand in line and step up in turn to take their medicine. They are learning which excuses work and which don't. We wait. We are ready. They run out of judges for today so we have to come back tomorrow and hope there are enough judges to go around.

2. 9:30 tomorrow. We get a judge. All the lawyers go to his office and at that point he sees the court file for the first time so he can read it. He tells the lawyers that he will entertain motions in limine that afternoon. Twelve motions are argued and disposed of within 20 minutes. Kid from out of town loses all motions. Lady lawyer from biggest firm in Chicago wins all motions. Pick the jury tomorrow morning (Wednesday).

3. Like everything else, the jury picking was unusual. Put four jurors in the box at a time. Plaintiff voir dires jury and then must immediately exercise his challenges for cause and peremptory

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