How not to open your speech: let's debunk some myths of public speaking.

• Author: Henderson, Jeanette
• Position: AT YOUR BEST - Column

THERE'S A VERY GOOD REASON why so many people are afraid of public speaking; it's that the advice they typically get is so full of old wives' tales and gobbledygook, they instinctively know that it just can't be right. But they don't know what else to do, so they just go along with it, thus perpetuating the myths.

Let's start at the beginning. The opening is critical, and many theories have been offered as to what is the best way to open. Here are some of them, and why you should never use them. The reasons are simple once you know why.

1. The Joke: When you start with a joke, there are four possible outcomes:

   -- People will get the joke and laugh,

   -- People won't get the joke and won't laugh,

   -- People will get the joke and think it's not funny or appropriate and won't laugh, or

   -- They will have heard the joke before and won't laugh.

   So even if you tell the joke perfectly, with the timing of a professional (which is unlikely), there is a 75 percent chance your audience won't laugh. Or worse, sometimes they laugh a little just to be polite, but are saying to themselves, "How lame." So why would anyone start with a joke?

2. Asking a Question: When you begin by asking a question, there are numerous possible outcomes:

   -- People will think the question is rhetorical and won't answer,

   -- People won't know whether they are supposed to raise their hand or call out the answer, and because they don't want to risk embarrassing themselves, they won't answer,

   -- People will be afraid they'll get the answer wrong, and won't want the speaker to point out their error, so they won't answer,

   -- They'll call out an answer that is wrong, which means you have to correct them, and you've just alienated that person and everyone else who might have agreed with him or her, or

   -- They call out the right answer, which means there's someone (or many people) who just figured out they know as much about the subject as you do, so any motivation to stay for the rest of the presentation has just fizzled out.

3. Talking about Yourself: When you begin by talking about yourself (the most common mistake made in the political arena), these are some of the possible outcomes:

   -- People will see you as a self-centered bore, in the same way they would if you were simply having a one-on-one conversation with them,

   -- People won't care about who you are, they just want to know what you can do for them as a result of your presentation, so they'll tune you out, or

   -- People will find...