Conditioned Emotional Response

• Date: 01 May 2022
• Published date: 01 May 2022
• Author: Shon Pernice
• DOI: 10.1177/10439862221096720

https://doi.org/10.1177/10439862221096720

Journal of Contemporary Criminal Justice

2022, Vol. 38(2) 176 –178

© The Author(s) 2022

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DOI: 10.1177/10439862221096720

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Essay

Conditioned Emotional

Response

By Shon Pernice

Have you ever done something foolish and asked yourself, “Why did I do that?” It is

usually something small or just a minor lapse in character. But how about something

so repulsive, that you are too ashamed to admit it? You say to yourself, “What the heck

is wrong with me?” It makes you so disgusted with yourself and it gets buried deep

down as you try to hide it. That event silently re-emerges; it affects your life adversely

until you play the role of detective, psychologist, and social worker until you can

attempt to identify your error in thinking. I am that person. I did something horrible.

January 2, 2009

When I went back down the stairs, to see what I had done, my wife’s body lay motion-

less on the floor. I had previously pushed, hit, or shoved her in an explosive rage. As a

combat medic, I check for signs of life: absent. The common reaction would be to call

911. That is what our society is conditioned to do. I did not. My next course of action

has haunted me for the past ten years. Not because I write this from a prison cell, but

because my response to the situation repulses me. I hurt a lot of people.

After confirming my wife’s death, a light goes out. I am detached without any feel-

ings. She is no longer my wife of ten years, mother of our three children, but an object.

I place her body into a big, black duffle bag. Later that night, I placed her body into a

garbage dumpster and drive away. No emotions. How could a person, a father, or a

husband do this to someone they are supposed to love?

Operation Iraqi Freedom 2007-2008

[ed: Mr. Pernice served as a medic in the US Army

As a combat medic, emotional detachment is paramount to your sanity, and the sur-

vival of others. With traumatic injuries, you have to maintain your composure in the

worst situations. If a severely injured casualty sees you scared, alarmed, or grossed out

by their wounds, they will lose hope and die. Sometimes you need their will to fight in

order to get them to the next level of care alive. You adapt to being emotionally numb

all of the time. That same tourniquet that I placed on the soldiers leg to stop the blood

1096720CCJXXX10.1177/10439862221096720Journal of Contemporary Criminal JusticePernice

research-article2022