Wrong Kind of Baby Love.

AuthorLeonard, Kevin
PositionON THE COUCH

YES, TOO MUCH LOVE, enabling, and babying is a recipe for disaster as parents in many cases play a huge role prolonging the drug use of their grown children, many times leading to sudden death. Trying to get a loved one help can be very tricky and the rules of the game do not always include rigorous honesty. It commonly is known that, if the lips of an addict or alcoholic are moving, they merely are lying. So, parents, spouses, and friends have to fight fire with fire. All those involved with getting the addict help must do whatever it takes to their troubled family member or friend. The problem is that many of the parents have what Mark DiBenedetti, Sober Life Services president, refers to as Chocolate Milk Syndrome (CMS).

The stories of the mom who is coddling her son, who is not a kid any longer, are a massive issue and problem in the world of addiction. The strongest parental connection lies primarily with mothers. However, the father can fall prey to CMS as well, but not nearly as much as the mother with her maternal instincts. It is somewhat understandable of the mom who babies her adolescent kid, but a 40-yearold man, whom she treats like a new-bom? The enabling of the parents is leading to the demise of their flesh and blood. So, who needs the help here? The answer is simple: the parents need life coaching and counseling and, of course, the addict or alcoholic needs treatment and a solid, lifelong program of recovery.

What is seen in the addiction industry is that many of the parents who never had a drug or alcohol problem are the king culprits of pouring gallons of chocolate milk into their adult "kids" overflowing cup. CMS is a symptom of the problem and refers to the babying, lifelong behavioral problems, and the actual treatment of the parents' loved ones. Chocolate Milk is the symbol of a false sense of comfort that the parent delivers to the addict, not allowing the adult child to grow up and take full accountability for his or her choices.

However, CMS is poisonous and can lead to death. These parents are more prevalent than you would tend to believe due to nature and critical issues that are faced daily when dealing with a very sick kid. More often than not, we see the parents get sick, lose their job or marriages, and have their family shattered over their chosen ways of "helping" their kids.

On the flip side, we have parents who themselves were addicts or alcoholics and know the ropes. Usually, these parents do not have...

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