Wring out the old year: G.D. Gearino reviews last year's news and gives his take on memorable events some folks would just as soon forget.

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Let's hope the portable-toilet industry doesn't get any ideas.

The Bloom grocery chain, a subsidiary of Salisbury-based Food Lion, developed what The Charlotte Observer described as "the nation's first scented highway billboard." The sign, which showed a giant piece of grilled steak held aloft by an equally giant fork, used a fan to emit the smell of grilled meat to nearby motorists.

Acronyms! Get yer fresh, hot acronyms right here!

BB&T signed a deal to become the official bank of the Atlantic Coast Conference, replacing Raleigh-based RBC Bank. A BB&T spokesman pointed out that the deal isn't the Winston-Salem-based bank's first foray into sports, as it also sponsors a Sprint Cup stock-car racing team. Thus we offer this headline: BB&TKOs RBC in ACCdeal, adds NCAA to NASCAR.

We're gonna take a stab at it and predict that the research will show that people should eat more Cheerios and Wheaties.

General Mills, the Minneapolis-based maker of iconic breakfast cereals, announced that it would open an operation at the North Carolina Research Campus in Kannapolis, where it expects to study nutrition issues.

Meanwhile, the Central Intelligence Agency suspends its internship program with NCSU.

N.C. State University graduate Gray Powell, an Apple employee, briefly became globally famous after he lost a secret prototype of the next-generation iPhone in a California beer garden where he was celebrating his 27th birthday. The phone ended up in the hands of a tech website, which unveiled its new features and capabilities. The New York Times, Washington Post and Associated Press followed with their own stories--all to Apple's consternation. Powell's last act with the phone before losing it was to post an update to his Facebook page saying, "I underestimated how good German beer is."

[ILLUSTRATION OMITTED]

Thanks for expanding us into bankruptcy. Here's $15.7 million.

Dex One, the Cary-based publisher of phone directories, nudged CEO David Swanson into retirement after the company (then known as R.H. Donnelley) underwent a disastrous growth campaign that left the company bankrupt. As part of his departure agreement, Swanson was awarded a $6.5 million separation payment, a pension valued at $5.7 million and incentive payments worth as much as $3.5 million.

[ILLUSTRATION OMITTED]

He also wants the government to stop beaming those impure thoughts about Lindsay Lohan into his brain.

Bill Randall, the Republican candidate for the 13th Congressional District, responded to a reporter's question about a moratorium on deep-water drilling after the BP oil disaster in the Gulf of Mexico by speculating that the spill was a conspiracy instead of an accident: "Personally I feel there is a possibility that there was some sort of collusion. I don't know how or why, but in that situation, if you...

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