Recreation without taxation.

• Author: Sleek, Scott
• Position: Internal Revenue Service employee benefits

It was like a working vacation in heaven. With only a few hours devoted to the obligatory meetings, the employees got a chance to frolic on racquetball and tennis courts, test their prowess against championship golf courses, relax in a sauna, and glide on bicycles through piney glades. But these weren't just any paper-pushers relieving a little occupational stress. Enjoying this annual three-day getaway in Pennsylvania's Pocono Mountains were about 190 managers from the Internal Revenue Service. Guess who picked up the $88,000 tab? That's right - you did.

The agency describes the retreat as vital "continuing education," with a full schedule of work-related discussion and activity. Topics included managing a culturally diverse workforce, dealing with difficult people, and harnessing "the power of laughter." Among the other educational offerings were an evening hayride and bonfire, water volleyball, two 45-minute sessions of body toning, and a talent show. In the end, only about 16 out of 50 hours of activity were officially devoted to business. If, in fact, the workers did spend 16 hours sharpening their skills, then the conference might seem to have some slight professional justification. But don't be fooled. In general, as attendees at such conferences well know, the choice between sitting in class or sitting in a hot tub doesn't provoke a whole lot of soul-searching.

The Poconos retreat last June wasn't the only sweet bonus accorded the people who collect our taxes. IRS employees, particularly management personnel, have enjoyed a variety of pricey perquisites over the past year. They've been treated to seminars at expensive beachfront resorts and mountain retreats, health club memberships, and even cash awards for helping to throw a party.

Of course, such merriment isn't limited to the IRS, as the agency defensively points out. From grandiose office decor to limousine service to first-class flights, self-indulgent spending is a sanctioned sport throughout the federal government. But bureaucratic hedonism is particularly distasteful when it's practiced by the IRS. The image of the stereotypical taxman, after all, is that of an ascetic in a cheap grey suit grimly toting up columns of numbers - not of a frat boy in a Hawaiian shirt guzzling beer at a keg party. These are the people who expect us to report our income with the highest degree of honesty and accuracy, the ones who, when they feel we've fallen short of that standard, can impose...