Who May Adopt

AuthorJeffrey Kasky; Robert Andrew Kasky
Pages13-28
13
CHAPTER
3
Who May Adopt
The world of adoption, like the world in general, continues to evolve right before our eyes. Decades ago,
adoptions were almost entirely pursued by the so-called “traditional” heterosexual married couple where
the adoptive mother was the stay-at-home mom and the adoptive father was the breadwinner. The old-
fashioned “traditional” is no longer the norm in our adoption practice, and we know that to be the case
in many other agencies and adoption attorney’s offices as well.
Single-Parent Adoptions
In the past, so-called “traditional” adoptions were mostly pursued by infertile heterosexual married cou-
ples. When a single person wanted to adopt a child, an eyebrow might have been raised, especially if that
person was a male. Nowadays it is not uncommon nor is it thought of as unusual for single men and
single women to want to adopt nor is it uncommon for them to be chosen by birth parents to adopt their
children. In fact, many birth mothers are especially attracted to the situation of single parents or same-sex
couples, who wouldn’t be able to have children were it not for one of these alternative methods of family
creation.
The law clearly recognizes that single people are eligible to adopt and birth parents are oftentimes
understanding of a single person’s desire to realize the joys of parenthood without a spouse. As long as a
single parent’s circumstances provide the child with the opportunity for a safe, sound, stable, and secure
life, the law permits and societal norms accept single parents to adopt.
kas159859_ch03_p013-028.indd 13 01/03/16 7:37 AM
14 The ABA Consumer Guide to Adopting a Child
It goes without saying, but we’ll say
it anyway, that the decision to place
the child with a single parent (or any
parent for that matter) must be made
with the child’s best interests at the
forefront of the decision-making pro-
cess. That said, the birth parents do
have the right to insist on a “traditional”
prospective adoptive family and there are
some adoption agencies and attorneys which will tacitly (or sometimes overtly)
discourage placement of a child with a single parent regardless of the fact that
the state law permits single-parent adoptions. Ultimately, however, in most cases
and subject to court approval, the birth parent has the final word on who adopts
her child.
Consider the birth parent who was raised by a single parent and who is un-
happy about being deprived of, in most cases and among other things, a present
father. Those birth parents may insist on (or at least have a strong preference
for) a married couple to adopt the child to avoid the child having similar feelings
or being raised in a similar fashion. On the other hand, a birth parent who was
raised by a single parent, or who is herself a single parent, may very well see no
reason to deny another single parent the experience of parenting. So, as you can
see, it is a personal preference for the birth parents and it is up to them to choose
the composition of the family, again subject to court approval.
Birth parents, licensed agencies, and adoption attorneys have multiple and
oftentimes differing goals, and a successful adoption requires choreographing and
reconciling those goals such that at the end of the day the birth parent knows
that her child will be well cared for, the adoptive family experiences the thrill of
parenthood, and, of course, the child becomes a legal member of a loving family.
Stepparent Adoptions
The stepparent adoption is the most common of the relative adoptions. The
typical form of stepparent adoption involves a man who is married to a child’s
biological mother and wishes to adopt her child. The child usually lives with the
biological mother and her new husband and has had recent contact with his or
her birth father who is typically the noncustodial parent. If it’s the mother’s new
husband seeking to adopt the child and the identity of the birth father is known,
bitter disputes can arise between the custodial parent (the mother), her husband,
and the noncustodial birth father. If there is a problem, it typically surrounds the
birth father’s unwillingness to consent to the adoption of the child by the birth
mother’s new husband fearing that he (the birth father) will lose contact with
the child.
As a general proposition, it is necessary to obtain the consent of the parent
whose rights are going to be terminated by the stepparent adoption. That parent’s
cooperation, when necessary, will determine whether the proposed stepparent
adoption will be a walk in the park or a nuclear war.
NOTE
Ultimately, the birth parent(s) can
decide who adopts her or their
child, subject to court approval.
While some may be open to
single-parent adoptions, others
may not.
kas159859_ch03_p013-028.indd 14 01/03/16 7:37 AM

To continue reading

Request your trial

VLEX uses login cookies to provide you with a better browsing experience. If you click on 'Accept' or continue browsing this site we consider that you accept our cookie policy. ACCEPT