When the World's Wars Invade Your Home: "Talking with children about violence and war is not easy, but as we continue to navigate our way through these uncertain times, we can embrace each other with compassion, hope, and healing.".

• Author: Bohnhoff, Kelly
• Position: PSYCHOLOGY

AS THE BLOODY conflict between Russia and Ukraine continues to make headlines, it can cause feelings of anger, worry, anxiety, fear, confusion, sadness, and grief no matter where you live in the world. In times of crisis, children will look to those who are caring for them for a sense of love, connection, security, and safety.

It is important to check in with yourself and any other caregiver to talk about the thoughts, feelings, and activities that may be present in daily life for you and others living in the home. Are you anxious, stressed, upset, irritable, angry, sad, having trouble sleeping, constantly monitoring news on TV or checking social media, going online to binge watch podcasts or audio channels, or having difficulty relating to your primary partner?

Children are capable of picking up on our emotions and watch us closely for "clues" about how to handle things that are scary. These "clues" include your state of being (calm or anxious), emotions, facial expressions, body language, and the way par-ents/caregivers are relating to each other.

As caregivers, talk together first about how you would like to spend time explaining violence and war to your children. Processing your own thoughts and feelings together beforehand will proactively allow you to create ways that you can approach the topic of violence and war using age-appropriate language at a time and place best suited for each child.

Be aware of what your family is watching. With the average American viewing a little over five hours of TV every day, it is important to monitor how much breaking news and/or graphic details, images, and sounds your family may be exposed to. For children under age eight, remember that even if they are in another room, they still may be able to hear gunfire, bombs dropping, snouting of soldiers, or the crying of someone being interviewed.

Because each member of the family will process these images, sounds, and news reports differendy, it is important to check in periodically as a family to determine where news and media exposure may be coming from. For middle school children and teens, they may be exposed to the news at school, with friends, in the community, with other family members, and on social media platforms. How we talk on the phone or in person with family, friends, and others you trust about violence and war also will be noticed by children, so be sure to look around if you want to process your own thoughts and feelings in conversation...