What to Know Before You Pay for Sex: TIPS, TRICKS, AND COMMON SENSE TO MAKE HIRING AN ESCORT A BREEZE.

• Author: McNeill, Maggie

IN 1948, THE noted sex researcher Alfred Kinsey reported that 69 percent of men had paid for sex at some point in their lives. The 2005 General Social Survey put the number at closer to 15 percent. The true answer is probably somewhere in between--not just because time has passed and norms have changed, but because getting people to answer such questions honestly is not always possible. Still, it's clear even from the low-end estimates that hiring a sex worker is a pretty normal thing to do. I've been an escort since January 2000, I was a stripper for two years before that, and I practiced what the literature calls "casual prostitution" going back to 1985. In those years I've seen men of all ages, from 18 to 94, and all walks of life, from a truck driver to a U.S. senator. I've made a good living at it, and so do roughly half a million other women in the United States.

Despite being a common activity, buying sexual services can be intimidating. As with all black market transactions, there is an element of risk and uncertainty caused by prohibition. Maybe you're considering buying sex but are unsure how to proceed. Or maybe you've done it in the past but are nervous in the current climate of aggressive "end demand" stings and "john shaming"--complete with names and pictures in the news. Either way, you've come to the right place: Hiring an escort is neither difficult nor dangerous as long as one exercises patience, diligence, and good manners.

Before starting, it's a good idea to have in mind what you're looking for. Is there a particular kind of person you're interested in, such as someone with certain physical characteristics or a certain educational level? Do you have a particular interest--a kink or fetish, for example--that your regular partner is unwilling or unable to fulfill? Maybe you've fantasized about being with a transgender woman, a pair of bisexual temptresses, or a lady who can really wield a whip? Are you sexually bored and looking for someone to give you the kind of bed-busting experience you've seen in porn? Or perhaps you're simply lonely and would like an interesting companion for the evening?

As long as you live in or can travel to a city of at least moderate size, it's extremely likely you'll be able to find a sex worker online who fits the bill. But to do so, you're going to need to do your research, and this is where the patience comes in. Even if you're just looking for a decently attractive gal (or guy!) to give...