What's love (or money) got to do with it?

• Position: Dating

When it comes to dating, we like to focus on the fun and sexy parts. The practical stuff seems such a drag and no one wants to deal with it when things are new and exciting, indicates Patricia Leavy, a pop-feminist author with a dozen books to her credit, including her latest, American Circumstance.

However, the truth is that economics do impact our romantic relationships. "We've all heard that finances are cited as the No. 1 cause of divorce in the U.S. but, in the beginning, when we're dating and trying to build a new relationship, what are the economic pitfalls of romance and how can we avoid them?"

Expectations. "If one party hears 'Saturday night date' and thinks about pizza and a movie and the other thinks five-star dining and live theater, there is a stark difference in expectations that needs to be addressed. These expectations or preferences have economic implications. Don't be afraid to talk about the financial realities of different activities. Take the time to set expectations."

Paying. "There are expectations about what you will do and how you will pay for what you do. Some couples believe in splitting everything and others feel that, if one party can afford more, he or she should pay more. Expectations about what you will do go hand-in-hand with arrangements about how things will be paid for."

Insecurities. "Disparities in economic resources can feed insecurities if you let them, so it's important to remember that your identity isn't linked to your bank balance and neither is your partner's."

Respect. "Irrespective of earnings, it's important to actively show respect and offer support for each other's work or...