What Not to Say When Parents Lose a Child.

• Position: BEREAVEMENT

Joan Markwell knows the gut-wrenching, hollow feeling left behind when a child is taken too early. It is a feeling that mothers have experienced recently and throughout the last few years after tragic attacks in Orlando, Manchester, London, San Bernardino, Charleston, and Parkland, just to name a small handful.

With every new tragedy, vigil, story on the news, or anniversary recognizing these events, plenty of mothers like Markwell--who lost her adult child to cancer--feel the sting of the wound that accompanies their loss.

'When a mother loses a child, the grief dictates her life," says Markwell, author of Softening the Grief.* What to Say and Do to Comfort a Bereaved Mother. "You don't see an end to the pain. As the body reacts to the stress you feel, physical pain follows. Sleep is out of the question."

It is a grief that only they understand, however, and one that others usually do not know how to deal with. 'The first time we meet a friend since the death of our child occurred can be frightening. Its not that we don't want to see that person; we just can't face anyone without tearing up.

'When talking to a grieving parent about a lost child, it's best to take a step back and choose your words carefully." To avoid those awkward situations, Markwell offers up some phrases you should avoid saying to grieving parents and instead offers alternatives:

* "You are so strong." In reality, we are exhausted from trying to look strong. Try this instead: "I know it's hard to be strong right now. I'm here for you to lean on anytime. I have an open heart and...