We Are So Over Monica.

• Author: Clinton, Kate
• Position: U.S. media covering different stories than the Monica Lewinsky scandal but continues to trivialize women - Humor - Brief Article

`Can you talk about Kosovo?" the worried MSNBC producer asked me. I'd been scheduled to talk about the downside of celebrity, my specialty, but the NATO bombing had tanked that topic. Our in-depth discussion of Pamela Lee Anderson's desire to be taken more seriously through removal of her breast implants, my mini-specialty, was postponed, but the studio headquarters in Secaucus, New Jersey, was short on talking heads, so they wondered if I could "do Kosovo."

"Of course."

Luckily, my cable discussion of the Dayton Accords did not require make-up. The Secaucasians thought I looked fine and besides they were a little shorthanded, so moments after I arrived I was hustled onto the set with my co-panelists. One woman was an expert on the refugee problem. I wondered what she was doing in New Jersey. Another woman was an expert on Yugoslavia, had lived there for ten years, and had interviewed both Milosevic and his wife.

Our segment was delayed by an emergency NATO press conference. Jamie, the cuddly, condescending NATO spokesman, was denying they were using the same cartographers who had missed the wires on those ski gondolas in Italy. As we waited and watched footage of thousands of refugees pouring across the border, I said to the show host, "I'd bet you'd give anything to be able to talk about Monica's weight problem rather than this awful story." She reared back in Valley-girl horror and snorted, "We are so over Monica."

Finally, we went on the air, and I was ready with my points. Our host began by saying that the whole thing was so sad, and then she turned to the Yugo-expert and asked the following profound question: "You've spoken with Mrs. Milosevic. Has she had a facelift, or what?"

That level of discourse prompted me to suggest that Euro-Disney should offer to take in the refugees. They would have shelter, food, activities to fend off boredom, and most importantly, an infrastructure.

It seems we are all suffering from severe PMS: Post-Monica Syndrome. One symptom is an inability to take women seriously. In two recent TV specials--sitcoms, no; dramas, yes--Joan of Arc and Cleopatra were...