A Wal-Mart joy ride.

• Author: Kreyche, Gerald F.
• Position: PARTING THOUGHTS

AS ONE ENTERS THE SUPER Wal-Mart stores, an array of shopping carts can be seen, many full of kids either sitting down or standing up precariously. A few even can be found under the basket by the wheels, seeing what the world looks like from below. Then there are the electric carts for the handicapped and seniors. These are stationed close to the door-greeter, who keeps an eye on them to make sure that adventurous youngsters do not take them for a spin.

I long have envied these electric cart riders and always felt the urge to sneak in a spin myself, but was too embarrassed to do so, being a robust and healthy person, albeit a senior. Little did I know my time would come. After open-heart surgery, I was homebound and forbidden to drive my car. However, my doctor never intimated that I could not drive one of those Wal-Mart specials. My opportunity came when I was walking again and my wife wanted to go to the beauty parlor for a short check-up on her hairdo. She dropped me off in front of the store and was to pick me up in half an hour. We needed a few things and she thought I was well enough to meander slowly down the aisles. I never mentioned that I would use an electric cart.

I sat down sheepishly, but tried to act big and bold, as though I had used it many times before. No matter how I fumbled at the controls, however, I could not get it started. There were right and left handles that moved up and down that were supposed to propel it forward. To stop, one simply had to pull down the handle. There also was a reverse and a horn. I never would use either for tear of drawing attention to myself. An array of impressive-looking lights were flickering on the dashboard, mostly indicating the battery charge. The door-greeter, seeing I was in trouble, showed me how the car worked. Apparently, the electrical system is activated when one sits on the seat. I felt sheepish about my Ignorance, but that lasted only momentarily. Now that I finally had power, I zoomed out of the holding area, going at least a half-mile per hour. I tried all the controls and felt confident that I had mastered them, so I decided to go about my assigned shopping chores.

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle wrote in The Hound of the Baskervilles that the powers of evil are exalted at midnight. He had it wrong. They are exalted at high noon. Little did I realize this was the shopping "rush hour" as the store seemed to be carpeted with customers. It was like navigating the Chicago Loop. l...