Be Well

• Citation: Vol. 46 No. 3 Pg. 35
• Publication year: 2020
• Pages: 35
• Year: 2020

BE WELL Vol. 46 No. 3 Pg. 35 Vermont Bar Journal Fall, 2020

How to Feel in Control When Things are Out of Control

By Amy Wood, Psy.D

One of my favorite quotes goes something like, “You can’t stop the waves but you can learn to surf.” This is perfect advice when it comes to feeling in control when things are out of control around you. Attempting to alter what may not be in your power to change will only exhaust you, but becoming resilient – learning to flex and adapt, in other words, with unpredictability -- will allow you to ride the inevitable waves more easily.

These suggestions will show you the way:

Stop trying to control what you can’t control: There is so much we have no command over -- traffic, the weather, the court system, to name just some things from a very long list. And yet all of us waste time and energy worrying about and acting on circumstances outside our jurisdiction. We lie awake at night hoping that we’ll pass a particular test, get a certain job, attract an object of our affection, sidestep a contagious illness. We tense ourselves up trying to beat the competition, win over others, prevent loss and heartache, slow the fast pace of America, corral global movements that...