Victims of Digital Abuse and the Danger of Disengagement.

• Author: Patrick, Wendy L.

It is a familiar scenario. A victim in an abusive relationship complains about her partner's incessant text messaging. "He sent me 40 text messages just this morning!" Without evidence of physical abuse or language that would constitute a crime, your well-meaning advice might be: "Just turn off your phone." But is it that easy?

Many well-meaning friends, family, and even law enforcement officials might view this suggestion as problem solved. But is it? According to victims, dropping off the grid is not a practical solution. In fact, it might even put them in danger.

WITH TECHNOLOGY, KNOWLEDGE IS POWER

Technology is a blessing and a curse. A sword and a shield. Most people use their phones to stay connected with loved ones, keep up with professional obligations, use Google and other search features, and enjoy everything from the latest news and entertainment, to the latest games.

For domestic abusers, however, technology is a weapon. It allows them to be omnipresent in the lives of victims, dominating their existence around the clock, wherever they go. Abusers might be absent physically, but with a smart phone, they are present digitally. For some victims, however, technology also allows them to keep tabs on abusive partners. Whether the relational abuse is physical or emotional, connection with the perpetrator affords them a method of maintaining a measure of control.

THE DANGER OF DISENGAGEMENT

In a perfect world, all instances of domestic abuse would be reported to law enforcement and the perpetrators would be prosecuted. In reality, domestic abuse is significantly under reported. For domestic violence victims suffering in silence, weathering the storms caused by this invisible epidemic, one important method of staying safe involves countersurveillance. Through electronic communication, they monitor the moods and moves of the perpetrators who are monitoring them.

Electronic communications transmit more than words; they relay emotion--which for a victim, translates into risk assessment. Words, punctuation, and even the use of emoticons constitute a silent message that speaks volumes about a perpetrator's mood, and his plans. Through this disturbing method of relational existence, monitoring this type of information allows a victim to plan her day accordingly, maintaining a measure of control over daily life.

Accordingly, for victims who strategize their schedules around the mood of their abuser, going dark is not an option. Disconnecting...