Dealing with unproductive emotions in the workplace: listen, ask questions and take action.

• Author: Cummings, Judith
• Position: HR MATTERS

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After a great business lunch, Charlie returns to his real estate office and walks into a conversation no manager wants to witness. His two long-time employees, Hazel and Mary, are facing off across Mary's desk Hazel is red-faced and Mary is in tears:

Hazel: "Who told you that you could take my stapler? Every time I turn around someone is rifling through my desk! I am sick of this! Stay away from my stuff!"

Mary: "How am I supposed to get my work done? It isn't fair ... everybody picks on me ... it's not my fault."

Charlie tells them to "settle down" and get back to work. Nevertheless, after the conversation ends, Hazel's anger and Mary's tearful defensiveness are likely to derail productivity for rest of the afternoon.

It would be a dull and sterile workplace if employees did not express their emotional responses to their work and their colleagues. However, when negative emotional expressions upset others or otherwise disrupt productivity, the manager needs to take action.

What can Charlie do to address these unproductive emotions in the workplace? There are techniques that can help Charlie return the workplace to productivity more quickly. Every manager has to deal with unproductive emotions in the workplace at some point and there are some basic guidelines that can help all managers.

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Four things to keep in mind when addressing unproductive emotions:

1. Don't Ignore the Emotions: Emotional situations become negative and destructive when they are not dealt with promptly and effectively. A team can grow from positive conflict. Left unaddressed, the problems can fester and become worse.

2. "It's Not About the Stapler": Charlie's first impulse might be to buy another stapler and hope the issue goes away. While angry or defensive employees may appear to want a specific problem addressed, they are often looking for something else. Employees want to be heard. They want managers to understand their frustrations and opinions. The manager who can facilitate positive means for employees to be heard will significantly minimize the drama in the workplace.

3. Don't Take it Personally: Sometimes the manager is the focus of the emotion. Employees will watch very closely to see how you handle anger directed at you. A manager's ability to lead can be enhanced by how he or she handles angry words. This is the chance to model the behavior you want to see in your employees.

4. Don't Engage in Retreat or Combat: It is...