Understanding Parental Gatekeeping in Families with a Special Needs Child

• Date: 01 April 2017
• Author: Daniel B. Pickar,Robert L. Kaufman
• DOI: http://doi.org/10.1111/fcre.12273
• Published date: 01 April 2017

UNDERSTANDING PARENTAL GATEKEEPING IN FAMILIES WITH A

SPECIAL NEEDS CHILD

Robert L. Kaufman and Daniel B. Pickar

Supporting the positive development of a special needs child is especially challenging when parents have separated or

divorced. Invariably, there is an increased need for collaborative co-parenting wherein information is shared and intervention

plans can be implemented effectively. In this article, the evolving literature on parental gatekeeping is applied to families with

special needs children, as it offers a useful model for understanding the strengths and liabilities of co-parenting relationships.

We describe some of the typical and unique gatekeeping dynamics that occur when children suffer from developmental, physi-

cal, and/or psychiatric syndromes that require specific treatment and specialized parenting skills. Examples of both restrictive

and facilitative gatekeeping are described as they manifest in these families. Implications for decision making are also

discussed.

Key Points for Family Court Community:

Understand the unique demands of separated and divorced families who have a special needs child

Given the syndrome present, as well as the severity of the condition, understand what is required of parents in terms of

cooperation and collaboration

Typical developmentally based parenting plans may not apply to a family with a special needs child

Be aware of how parents handle safety and basic welfare issues of the child

Understand each parent’s approach to including versus restricting the other parent’s access to information about the

child, as well as their physical access to the child

Understand the unique ways that subtle alienation and enmeshment may manifest in families with a special needs child

Because many timely decisions need to be made by these families, the presumption of joint legal decision making

across the board may not be practical or effective

Keywords: Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD); Autistic Spectrum Disorder; Childhood Depression;

Divorce and Disabled Children; Legal Decision Making; Parental Gatekeeping; Parenting Plans; and Special

Needs Children.

INTRODUCTION

Separated and divorced families in which there is a child with special needs poses unique chal-

lenges for family law professionals. This is especially so for those who are tasked with developing

parenting plans that address the child’s best interests. In a previous publication (Pickar & Kaufman,

2015) we addressed the multiple factors that must be weighed with this population of children, which

differs from considerations in other families. In addition, we presented a risk assessment model for

use in child custody decision making with special needs children. Some of the key points from that

article are summarized in Table 1.

Based upon the diagnostic and treatment literature for a range of neurodevelopmental, psychiatric,

and medical disorders in children, we specified several domains/variables for examination in a risk-

protection continuum model. The domains consider the empirically based educational, therapeutic,

and medical treatment interventions that can benefit children with specific disorders, as well as the

risks to a special needs child (SNC) if such treatment is not sought or provided. The model also

emphasized the safety precautions necessary for many SNC and the risks when such safety precau-

tions are not provided.

Correspondence: rk@rkaufmanphd.com; dpickar@sbcglobal.net

FAMILY COURT REVIEW, Vol. 55 No. 2, April 2017 195–212

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C2017 Association of Family and Conciliation Courts

In these families, which we refer to as “special needs families” (SNFs), there are invariably

heightened demands on the co-parenting relationship. Parents must have a functional level of agree-

ment on diagnosis of the SNC, as well as the intervention plan, both in the home and in conjunction

with outside services. Parents are often in the position of assessing progress, interacting with direct

care and supportive professionals, and considering changes to treatment protocols. It is well docu-

mented that rearing a SNC can severely strain a marriage or partnership, resulting in a higher rate of

separation and divorce (Wymbs et al., 2008; Beresford, 1994; Davis & Carter, 2008; Keller & Honig,

2004). Collaboration and communication are typically more challenging postseparation.

In our earlier work, we noted that the co-parenting relationship is a significant variable that must

be considered by professionals developing parenting plans for families with a SNC. Poor parent col-

laboration and high interparent conflict are significant risk factors for poor outcome of the SNC. In

turn, enhanced or at least functional parental communication, well-defined and accepted parent roles,

and ongoing communication and sharing of information in a low-conflict environment are protective

factors. Thus, when crafting a parenting plan for the SNF, each parent’s attitudes and beliefs regard-

ing the other parent must be carefully considered. This includes a parent’s views of the other parent’s

attunement with the child, direct caretaking skills, and the child’s relationship with the other parent.

These attitudes also translate into a parent’s opinions regarding the access or timeshare plan that will

be in the child’s best interests.

Parents’ attitudes and actions that impact the other parent’s relationship and involvement with the

child can be captured and described via the construct of “parental gatekeeping” (Austin, Pruett, et al.,

2013). Though forms of parental gatekeeping have been discussed in the literature since the 1980s,

more recent refinements of the concept have brought forth the complex and bidirectional nature of

how parents support each other’s involvement with children postdivorce. For example, we have

come to better understand the possible implications when a parent either acts to restrict versus facili-

tate the child’s contact with the other parent. Professionals working with separated and divorced fam-

ilies seek to understand whether those attitudes are reasonable, given extant family dynamics and the

child’s best interests.

Questions and disputes about parental gatekeeping can take unique forms in SNFs. By way of

example, differences in parenting styles can become more at issue when children are less adaptable

and have specific environmental requirements. It is also not unusual for parents to disagree about the

child’s diagnosis and the severity of the syndrome from which the child suffers. Furthermore, some

parents cope with the stress of having a SNC by becoming very involved and active. They may

research the disorder extensively, take a very hands-on approach to seeking out treatment providers,

Table 1

Parenting Plans for Special Needs Children (SNC): Applying a Risk-Assessment Model (Pickar &

Kaufman, 2015)

SNC suffer from a range of disorders of varying complexity and differing levels of severity. Family law professionals of

all disciplines should develop a fundamental knowledge base about the most commonly seen SNC in family court.

A systematic analysis of risk and protective factors should inform timeshare arrangements and determinations with this

varied population, including the safety of the child and severity of the disorder; parental commitment and availability to

pursue medical, educational, and therapeutic services; the parental attunement and insight about the problem; and the dif-

ferential parenting skills of each parent.

Raising a SNC often demands greater parent availability and specialized parenting skills.

Poor parent collaboration and high interparent conflict are significant risk factors for poor child outcomes. In divorced

families where there is a SNC, coordination between caregivers, sharing of information and establishing consistency in

daily routines and structures are especially important.

Commonly recommended parenting plans may be inappropriate for many SNC, as some SNCs function significantly

below their chronological age and pose extreme behavioral challenges. In many instances, the need for stability in resi-

dential placement and consistency in routine outweighs a custodial schedule that provides significant time with both

parents.

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