My uncle and the essence of leadership: a few positive words can last a lifetime and shape a life.

• Author: Wiesner, Pat
• Position: On MANAGEMENT - Personal account

This is most likely the first life lesson I learned. Certainly, it is the first I remember. I was around 10 years old. My family lived in Buffalo, N.Y., but I was visiting my Uncle Gil at an Army base near Washington, D.C.

It was probably 1946. The war was over, but my Uncle Gil, a colonel, was all Army, all spit and polish. He had me standing at attention, saluting (it had to be done just right) and marching while he called the cadence. I admired him a lot, and I guess for age 10, I sensed his pride and his commitment. I wanted to be just like him. And I would do anything to get his approval.

To my young eyes he was perfect in his uniform, and he took great care that everything was just right before he left the house for work each day.

One morning he brought me two pairs of shoes and asked if I knew how to shine them. Now, I had shined shoes a few times before, but I was sure that what I had done before was going to be short of what he was expecting. But I said, "Yes, sir, Uncle Gil, I'll be happy to shine them for you." So he set me up with polish and brushes and newspapers to keep me from making a mess, and put me to work.

I knew that not only were these shoes important to him, but that this was a test for me. It was incredibly important for this 10-year-old to do this right. I worked really hard. I shined every inch, particularly the tight space between the top of the shoe and the soles. When I was finished I inspected like crazy, and then I went through the whole shining process again.

Uncle Gil didn't say anything. He just sat and read his paper and didn't give me a single suggestion or correction. He gave me a job and let me do it. I am sure this was the first time anyone had done that to me. I never forgot the power of his confidence in me.

When I was satisfied that doing it again would not produce a better shine, I gave him the shoes, and I knew that whatever he said next, I would remember for a long time.

He took the shoes and turned them and looked at the heels. He turned them around again looking at them...