Trying to parody the classics.

• Author: Gehring, Wes D.
• Position: Reel World - Film

I HAVE STARTED WRITING another book, this one a parody on assorted film classics. I grew up reading Richard Armour's inspired spoofs of literary gems, such as The Classics Reclassified (in which he documents, among other things, the importance of not being educated if you want to be a famous writer) and American Lit Relit (which asks the burning question: Has poetry been dead since 1882?). As these tongue-firmly-in-cheek reflections suggest, Armour peppered his parody with witty comments along related lines, giving learning a comedy coating.

Parody sometimes is called creative criticism. That is, to be effective at parody, one must be versed thoroughly in the subject under attack. Thus, spoofing is the most palatable of critical approaches, offering insights through affectionate laughter.

Anyway, after writing a number of scholarly movie books, the time seemed right to follow Armour's parody tradition. So, what films will I affectionately derail? For starters, "The Wizard of Oz" (1939). If redone today, it probably would include a high-speed car chase down the Yellow Brick Road, some gratuitous sex involving the Munchkins, and graphic footage of Dorothy's house squishing the Wicked Witch of the East.

As with many would-be fantasy rebels, Dorothy spends most of her time trying to get back home. Actually, this represents quite a suspension of disbelief--that she would pick fuddy-duddy black-and-white Kansas over technicolor Oz, with its more-than-zany flora and fauna, from talking trees to those cute Munchkins. Dorothy obviously never had driven across Kansas. It is so flat you can watch your dog run away ... for days. Put this question to anyone: "Would you like two weeks in Topeka, Kansas?" If this is a tough decision, then, like Dorothy, they recently may have been smacked in the coconut by some airborne house shutters. (Ah, Kansas, where they think a good time is an extra hour of church!)

The movie's celebrated upbeat ending is tied to the fact that Dorothy is plenty pleased after her lawless spree not to be serving major time in some far-off slammer. Her infractions include wearing stolen shoes; carrying a concealed dog; melting a witch without a permit; inciting Munchkins to riot; trafficking in (or actually trafficking through) poppies; crash-landing a farmhouse on a prominent citizen; appropriating apples; loitering with little people; excessive perkiness; conspiracy to swipe a broom; extorting wishes from a broken-down wizard; and...