Troubletown: our prime-time election coverage.

• Author: Dangle, Lloyd
• Position: Brief Article

JUST HOW WELL DID THE DEMOCRATS PACKAGE THEMSELVES IN BOSTON?

BY REPEATING THE WORDS, STRENGTH, VALOR, AND HEROISM OVER AND OVER, THEY LEFT AN INDELIBLE PORTRAIT OF JOHN KERRY AS A LEADER!

THE DEMOCRATS GOT AN EXTREME MAKEOVER WITH THE COSMETICS OF OPTIMISM AND HOPE!

BUT REPUBLICANS WILL SMEAR THAT MAKEUP AS THEY REDEFINE KERRY AS A NOTORIOUSLY WEAK-KNEED FLIP-FLOPPER!

THEY WILL CHIP AWAY AND TARNISH KERRY'S CAREFULLY SCULPTED STATUARY, USING HIS ULTRA-LIBERAL SENATE VOTING RECORD LIKE A CHISEL ...

WHILE UNVEILING A NEW PROFILE OF DUBYA, BUFF, RESOLUTE, AND GOD-LIKE.

HOLD IT! A CALLER ASKS: "CAN YOU REPORT ON KERRY'S ACTUAL VOTING RECORD AND PROVIDE A LITTLE CONTEXT TO GO WITH IT?"

HUH?

WHY?

TO THE CALLER I MUST SAY, WHOA! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW...