Troubletown: nine final steps to secure Iraq.

• Author: Dangle, Lloyd
• Position: Letters to the Editor

BRING IN THE LAST TROOP SURGE.

I THOUGHT I WAS UNLUCKY ON MY FOURTH TOUR OF DUTY!

I'VE BEEN RETIRED FOR THREE YEARS!

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TURN OVER THE ABU GHRAIB KEYS.

YOU DON'T LIKE SUNNIS? WELL, DID WE EVER SOFTEN 'EM UP FOR YOU!

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PROVIDE SUPPORT FOR THE NEW PUBLIC WORKS PROJECTS.

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SWOOP IRAQ'S LAST SIX "PRESIDENTS" AWAY TO A WITNESS PROTECTION PROGRAM IN NEW JERSEY.

I AM PACKED!

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ENABLE A SMOOTH TRANSITION IN HUMAN SERVICES FROM HALLIBURTON TO HEZBOLLAH.

ACTUALLY, ANYTHING THAT'S NOT NAILED DOWN IS OURS.

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INVENT A DRINK CALLED THE "MOKTADA MOJITO" AND THROW A GREEN ZONE BON VOYAGE PARTY LIKE THIS TOWN HAS NEVER SEEN!

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BRING BACK RUMSFELD FOR ONE LAST CEREMONIAL HANDSHAKE.

GOLLY GUM-DROPS!

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STAND DOWN AS SOON AS...