Troubletown.

• Author: Dangle, Lloyd

WHEN A WELL-CONNECTED GOVERNMENT CONTRACTOR UNVEILED THE PUNCH CARD VOTE-O-MATIC AT THE 1963 WORLD'S FAIR, IT WAS A MIRACLE OF TECHNOLOGY!

BY THE YEAR 2000...

PUNCH CARDS WILL AFFECT EVERY ASPECT OF OUR LIVES.

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IT TOOK OVER THIRTY YEARS AND A BOTCHED ELECTION FOR US TO FIND OUT THAT THE PERFORMANCE OF THESE MACHINES IS PATHETIC!

I WARNED YOU THAT THEY SUCK, BUT EVERY TIME I WAS TOLD TO STOP WHINING.

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ALL THESE YEARS WE'VE BEEN POKING THOSE STUPID THINGS AND PROBABLY HALF THE TIME OUR VOTES WEREN'T EVEN TALLIED!

HERE'S ONE FOR MY MAN, DUKAKIS!

OLD VERN'S CARD IS NEVER PUNCHED RIGHT!

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MAYBE OUR NATION'S VOTER TURNOUT ISN'T SO ABYSMALLY LOW AFTER ALL--IT'S JUST ALL THE VOTES THAT ARE THROWN AWAY!

WE MUST'VE HAD 110% TURNOUT, INCLUDING DEAD PEOPLE.

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IRONICALLY, IT WAS NOT THE VOTE-O-MATIC THAT CAUSED THE...