Troubletown.

• Author: Dangle, Lloyd
• Position: Cartoon

IF YOU'RE EVER DRIVING DRUNK IN A STOLEN CAR FULL OF BLOOD AND EVIDENCE OF NUMEROUS CRIMES, YOU'LL DEFINITELY WANT IT TO BE THE U.S. CONGRESS THAT STOPS YOU.

EXCUSE ME! PULL OVER, PRETTY PLEASE!

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STEP ONE, IGNORE THEIR REQUEST AND DRIVE RIGHT OVER THEM.

DARN IT! THAT'S NOT COOPERATIVE! BUT I DON'T WANT TO BE SEEN AS ANGRY.

OR VINDICTIVE.

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BY THE TIME CONGRESS TRACKS DOWN YOUR WHEREABOUTS, YOU'LL HAVE A NEW CAR AND EVERY SHRED OF EVIDENCE WILL HAVE BEEN DESTROYED. NEX STEP:

OKAY, CONGRESSMAN, I'LL BE INVESTIGATED--BUT ONLY IF I PICK MY OWN COP!

WE'LL APPROVE THAT,

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THE COP YOU PICK TO INVESTIGATE YOUR OWN HEINOUS CRIME SPREE SHOULD (OBVIOUSLY) BE SLAVISHLY LOYAL AND DUMB AS A FENCEPOST.

CAN I KEEP THIS FLASHLIGHT?

CRAP? WE DID'NT SEE THIS COMING!

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WITH CONGRESS ON THE CASE, YOU'LL PROBABLY HAVE THREE MORE YEARS TO CONTINUE YOUR REIGN OF DUI, MURDER, AND MAYHEM. THEN THEY...