Troubletown.

• Author: Dangle, Lloyd
• Position: Satire - Brief Article

AFTER THE EMBARRASSING, WITHDRAWAL BY AUGUSTO PINOCHET, BUSH NAMES HIS REPLACEMENT CABINET NOMINEE:

AH'M PLEASED TO INTRODUCE VLAD THE IMPALER?

VLAD'S A GOOD MAN.

PUNDITS AGREE IT WAS A SHREWD CHOICE. THE IMPALER HAS SOLID CONSERVATIVE CREDENTIALS, HE'S ANTI-OTTOMAN EMPIRE, AND HE DOESN'T EMPLOY A NANNY.

MR. IMPALER, FIRST LET ME SAY THAT I HAVE TREMENDOUS ADMIRATION FOR YOU AND YOUR PUBLIC SERVICE.

THANK YOU.

I THINK I SPEAK FOR ALL OF MY COLLEAGUES WHEN I SAY HOW PLEASED AND HONORED WE ARE THAT YOU ARE HERE TO CHAT WITH US.

OH YES.

IF I CAN ASK ONE TEENY-TINY QUESTION WITH MY REMAINING TIME--D-D-DO YOU STILL FAVOR INDISCRIMINANTLY SKEWERING PEOPLE ON SPIKES AND SUCKING THEIR BLOCK THROUGH TINY NECK HOLES?

YOU KNOW, I CAN'T...