Trouble town: behind the scenes of Bush's top secret Turkey event.

• Author: Dangle, Lloyd
• Position: George W. Bush's trip to Iraq - Brief Article

INSTEAD OF A MOTORCADE, BUSH LEFT CRAWFORD IN A MIDNIGHT CONVOY OF BULLET-PROOF PICKUP TRUCKS.

DUBYA'S GOIN' SOMEWHERE!

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BUSH COULDN'T EVEN TELL HIS PARENTS WHERE HE WAS GOING ...

BLAB-BLAB BLAH-BLAH BLAH.

OTHERWISE EVERY SAUDI BUSINESSMAN IN THE WORLD WOULD FIND OUT!

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THE AIRSPACE OVER HALF THE WORLD WAS CLOSED TO AIR TRAVEL EXCEPT FOR BUSH--AND SOME OF OSAMA'S RELATIVES.

NO FLY ZONE

OSAMA'S MAMA

AIR FORCE ONE

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THE PRESIDENT'S FAWNING PRESS CORPS HAD TO BE WARNED.

NOT A WORD TO ANYONE OR THE TRIP IS OFF!

OHH, A TRIP! MY LIPS ARE SEALED!

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TONY BLAIR WAS ASKED TO SING, "GOD BLESS AMERICA" IN HIS KNICKERS ON A BARGE IN THE THAMES--TO CREATE A DIVERSION.

WHY WON'T THE BLEEDIN' BASTARD BUGGER OFF?!

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BEFORE HE TOOK A BITE, THREE TASTERS CHECKED BUSH'S FOOD.

HEY, FELLAS, SAVE SOME OF THAT BIRD FOR ME!

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TROOPS ON THE GROUND WERE SUDDENLY SUPPLIED WITH ADEQUATE PROVISIONS.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU THOUGHT RUMSFELD WAS A...