Trotsky's elbow, Albright's hat.

• Author: Clinton, Kate
• Position: Satire - US FBI makes film 'L.I. Confidential' to disprove TWA Flight 800 missile theory - Unplugged - Column - Brief Article

The same day the CIA released its computer-generated videotape reconstructing the crash of TWA flight 800 into the waters off Long Island, an article appeared in The New York Times chronicling the Soviet photomontagists who attempted to alter history by airbrushing, cutting, and pasting photos taken in Stalin's Russia.

In one crude cropping, a saluting Trotsky was excised so poorly from a crowd shot that the new picture showed Trotsky's elbow floating in front of an oddly smiling Lenin.

Who hasn't been amused by a floating disembodied elbow in school photo shoots?

But the revelation about Soviet photo doctoring did not inspire confidence about the CIA's little reenactment.

James Kallstrom, the head of the New York-based FBI unit that interviewed 244 eyewitnesses who claimed to have seen ascending lights seconds before the crash and concluded it was a rogue or terrorist missile, said his bureau didn't have anything to go on.

To reassure families and friends of the victims, our government made the video L.I. Confidential.

Watch for other reassuring videos coming soon to a Blockbuster near you:

The Washington Squares: Welcome to a week-long Power Jeopardy, hosted by veteran Alex Trebek, with guest contestants ranging from Oliver North to Andrea Mitchell to Tom Clancy.

Some think it's the end of the world, but the "just folks" feel of the show is reassuring. "I'll take `Gap-soothed' for $400."

I Know What You Did Last Summer: Using blurred surveillance-cam footage from an ATM machine, a convenience store, and a South Beach alley, Cable TV's fashion spokeswoman, Elsa Klensch, reassures us that despite his different disguises, Andrew Cunanan acted alone and in very poor taste.

Seven Kids in Tibet: Richard Gere narrates. A Tibetan woman using fertility drugs gives birth to seven perfect children. Which one is the new Dalai Lama?

In an attempt to forestall any bad press about its new movie and to smooth ruffled feathers in China, Disney has hired former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger as spokesman and goodwill ambassador. You're sure to heave a sigh of relief when you hear Kissinger sing in profundo, "It's a small world after all."

The Rainmaker: Dan Rather, in full yellow, multi-pocketed, nor'easter rain gear, is parachuted into the heart of El Nino to debunk the weather alarmists who predict an...