To network - or not work.

• Author: Gillespie, John F.
• Position: Includes related article - Career Development

Between jobs? Or simply interested in knowing what else is out there? Take a deep breath. Get your conversation cues down pat. Then get out there and (gulp) network.

For many of us, networking is like asking for that first date when you're 12 years old: It's something you'd like to try if you could just figure out how to do it. But there's a problem. The person you'd like to ask scares the hell out of you. Looking back, even though we feared being rejected years ago, we still got beyond that first date and most of us have ended up happily married. That's how it is with networking.

While many executives associate networking with cold calls, unscheduled meetings and unexpected phone calls, complete with sweaty palms and nervous twitches, networking is simply asking people we know, either personally or from business, to introduce us to their contacts, who are people we don't know yet.

Networking is planting a seed then nurturing it. Some seeds will never grow, perhaps because of lack of chemistry, but some seeds will. The effective executive builds relationships first then does the selling, not vice versa. And networking demands that you give of yourself with no guarantee of returns.

A DOZEN DO'S

Today's marketplace demands a new set of networking rules. Here are 12 easy-to-follow pieces of advice:

1. Eliminate the term networking from your script because it has become a door closer, not an opener. By now, you should know that networking is a process that begins way before any job search and, once started, must become a way of life. Even though today's employed financial executive may become tomorrow's networker, the term implies that you're unemployed and are looking for that golden list of contacts.

   By the same token, never open your conversation with a potential contact with such statements as "I'm networking" or "I heard you would be a good person to know." Instead, start by identifying who you are and then quickly ask for what you want. For instance, try this approach: "Mr. Jones, my name is John Smith. Bill Hart, the CFO of ABC Company, suggested I call you. My company has recently ... (Supply the appropriate event here, such as reduced its staffing, sold a division, or reorganized.) ... and Bill said you had a good knowledge of your industry. Is now a convenient time to talk?"

   In your conversation, you may even want to acknowledge the fact that the term "networking" has been abused as a concept. When you communicate honestly and offer some value -- your skills and talents...