Tips to prevent holiday stress.

• Position: Depression

When stress is at its peak, it is hard to stop and regroup. Try to prevent stress and depression in the first place, especially if the holidays have taken an emotional toll on you in the past, advise mental health specialists at the Mayo Clinic, Rochester, Minn.

Acknowledge your feelings. If someone close to you has died recently or you cannot be with loved ones, realize that it is normal to feel sadness and grief. It is okay to take time to cry or express your feelings. You cannot force yourself to be happy just because it is the holiday season.

Reach out. If you feel lonely or isolated, seek out community, religious, or other social events. They can offer support and companionship. Volunteering your time to help others also is a good way to lift your spirits and broaden your friendships.

Be realistic. The holidays do not have to be perfect or just like last year. As families change and grow, traditions and rituals often change as well. Choose a few to hold on to, and be open to creating new ones. For instance, if your adult children cannot come to your house, find new ways to celebrate together, such as sharing pictures, e-mails, or videos.

Set aside differences. Try to accept family members and friends as they are, even if they do not live up to all of your expectations. Set aside grievances until a more appropriate time for discussion. Be understanding if others get upset or distressed when something goes awry. Chances are they are feeling the effects of holiday stress and depression, too.

Stick to a budget. Before you go gift and food shopping, decide how much money you can afford to spend. Then stick to your budget. Do not attempt to buy happiness with an avalanche of gifts. In fact, you might want to try these alternatives: donate to a charity in someone's name; give homemade gifts; or start a family gift exchange.

Plan ahead. Set aside specific days for shopping, baking, visiting...