Tidbits & Outrages.

• Position: Brief Article

Is that a watch in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

In August, the school district in Columbus, Ga., assigned aides to alter textbook photos of Emmanuel Leutze's famous "Washington Crossing the Delaware" painting because some grown-ups thought parts of Washington pocket watch might appear to fifth-graders to be the Founding Father's penis.

Pending further notice, soda bread and leprechauns are still OK

The Boston Housing Authority, as part of its "diversity program," has come up with a list of politically incorrect symbols, which includes such things as the Confederate flag and the swastika--and the shamrock.

In the spring catalog: hunting the last pandas

Neiman Marcus is currently offering their customers a chance to own a crocodile leather chair, made out of a crocodile that they hunted themselves. For $75,000 Neiman Marcus will fly you to Australia, where you will participate in the hunt at whatever level you feel comfortable." Your trophy will then be turned into a chair made to your specifications, with a special certificate of authenticity.

The love that dare not speak its name

Florida animal control officers want to neuter a stray pig for sexually assaulting a man's Harley Davidson.

"Tonight we're gonna collate like it's...