The "write" way to show gratitude: "your bonus will be enhanced relationships--a plus for you and for every person who receives one of your heartfelt letters."(Psychology)

• Author: Smith, Lynette M.
• Position: Psychology

AT THE WEDDING rehearsal of our son, Byron, and his fiancee, Rachael, they each presented their respective parents with framed, heartfelt letters of appreciation. The letters described what they treasured about growing up in the family, the qualities they most admired about their mom and dad, and the values they had learned that they planned to bring to their own marriage. When the letters were read aloud, there was not a dry eye to be found.

In fact, my eyes still well up whenever I tell that story; my hand moves to my heart every time I think about their wonderful gesture; and, every time I read the letter, it feels just as inspiring as the first time. These letters were so much more meaningful than any purchased gift. Our letter has helped bring meaning to our lives, and gives us incentive to five long, happy lives, enjoying a close emotional bond with our son and his family.

That set of letters inspired me to try to get people to write heartfelt letters of appreciation so they can establish, enhance, and even rebuild their relationships and thus change their world. I have written a number of these letters myself--to my son, to commemorate his upcoming fatherhood; to my soon-to-be-born granddaughter, Kaelin, to tell her how lucky she is to have such great parents; to my wonderful mentor, Eleanore Rankin, for the difference she has made in my professional life; and to my husband, Ben, for his recent retirement, to tell him how much I have appreciated him as a family man and provider.

In giving these letters, I experienced a stronger bond with my son and his family, my mentor, and my husband of 37 years. When we acknowledge others' contributions, our relationships with them deepen, and putting that acknowledgment in writing makes it possible for the person receiving your letter to feel that bond anew, every time the letter is read.

Many others have written heartfelt letters of appreciation, always to good effect. On the Heartfelt Stories page of GoodWaysToWrite.com, Larry James tells about an unforgettable letter he wrote to his mom with Alzheimer's: "About a year before she died, I wrote my mother a letter telling her how much I loved her and told her I was sorry for all the things I did when I was a little kid. Although there were times when as 1 stood before her she did not recognize me as her son, my father told me that she read the letter I wrote almost every day (as if it had just arrived) and told everyone it was from her son."

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