The 183rd time's the charm.

• Author: Durst, Will
• Position: Off the Map - United States' law on torture - Essay

I'm sick of torture. The fact that were one of the countries way up there on the J.D. Powers annual "torture reliability" list makes me unwell. As does talking around torture. What this country needs is an upfront referendum on whether we as a nation should or shouldn't be torturing people. Oh wait. That's right, we had one. Last November 4th.

These aren't your normal ordinary everyday forms of torture we're talking about either: like twelfth in line at an understaffed Starbucks or shuffling through life as a Golden State Warriors fan or being forced to watch CW's primetime lineup. No, I'm referring to real, state-sponsored, "talk or we do something crazy" Jack-Bauer-on-steroids kind of stuff.

[ILLUSTRATION OMITTED]

The difference being, Kiefer Sutherland's rascally television torturer gets most of his results simply by raising his voice.

Tell me where they're taking the bomb.

"You'll never get anything out of me."

Compelling the grizzled hero of 24 to move in real close and yell in the dastardly scoundrel's face: "Are you going to talk now?"

"OK. OK. I'll talk. Just lower your voice. The kids are trying to sleep. Sheesh."

Adding to the torturous tableau, we then got Nancy Pelosi and the CIA exchanging torture lying charges. Don't you hate it when lovers' spats go public? The Republicans gleefully slide into the House Speaker cleats up because she just doesn't have the same thickness of Teflon coating as the President. To a lot of Americans, she's that great aunt who smiles too much at Thanksgiving and always uses your full name when scolding you for substandard table manners.

D ick Cheney got into the act with a talk show offensive defending his Administration's torture policies. And as far as everybody in the nation being mightily offended just by seeing him again, he's been successful. This is not a partisan thing. A National Journal poll of Republicans shows 57 percent of them think he's hurting the party. With 100 percent of Democrats supporting his right to do so. The upshot being, pretty much everybody agrees that Dick Cheney speaking on torture is redundant.

Exactly who was it that nominated him to be the new face of the GOP anyway? What's...