The sinking of America.

• Author: Barber, Matt
• Position: WORDS IMAGES - On liberals and the decline of America - Essay

ALTHOUGH IT CERTAINLY was not Oscar material, I still love the 1989 film' Erik the Viking," starring, among others, Tim Robbins, Mickey Rooney, Eartha Kitt, and John Cleese. It is a campy British comedy-fantasy about a band of misfit Vikings on a quest to reach Valhalla. In one scene, the motley mob finds its way to the island of Hy-Brasil, a happy, peaceful, sunlit land populated by white-robed, free-loving, uber-pacifist idiots--you know, liberals. Through a series of immaterial events, the island begins to sink into the ocean. As it does, Erik and crew evacuate and re-board the ship while Hy-Brasil's inhabitants blithely remain, singing out of tune and playing harps, horns, and other instruments badly. As the crest of the island dips beneath the sea, King Arnulf--a blundering buffoon played by Terry Jones of "Monty Python" fame--exclaims: "Everyone, stay calm. This is not happening."

It would be funny if it were not true, but the U.S. has become Hy-Brasil, Barack Obama King Amulf, and liberals of every stripe his whiterobed, mind-numbed, sycophantic subjects. Our enemies, both foreign and domestic--some of whom have "The Honorable" before their names --are laughing themselves silly.

Indeed, "progressives" are a caricature of themselves, fully given over to pseudo-utopian, relativist ideals that remain ludicrous--hopelessly unattainable--by any objective standard. Still, our patchouli-wearing, pervert-pride-prancing, "pay-for-my-abortion"-shrieking friends are anything if not determined.

They will let neither reality nor the Constitution stop them. Nothing, it seems--especially not those mealy-mouthed puddin' pops running the GOP--can keep this ship of fools from sinking a once great nation. Problem is, they are taking us all down with them.

How do you stop skyrocketing debt and deficits that even liberal economists admit, if left unchecked, spell America's doom? You do not. Instead, you print trillions more and spend it like game tokens at Chuck E. Cheese. The party must go on or the kiddies get cranky. Sugar Daddy Barack's got hungry mouths to feed. How do you stop evil nut jobs pumped flail of psychotropic drugs from shooting up gun free zones? Why, by leaving them heavily armed, of course--by unconstitutionally grabbing guns from the very law-abiding citizens positioned to tap two in the body and one in the head whenever these death-culture by-products start killing.

Liberal logic: "Up is down; down is up; we'll make it so and we...