The Sacrificial Mother.

• Author: HYATT, RALPH
• Position: Review

The Sacrificial Mother

by Carin Rubenstein / Hyperion Press, 1998, pp. 243, $22.95

Reviewed by RALPH HYATT Psychology Editor, USA Today, and Professor Emeritus in Psychology, Saint Joseph's University, Philadelphia, Pa.

*** "Sacrificial mothers everywhere must start a revolution, an upheaval that will end the caste system that uses them so carelessly, so harshly, and so dangerously. They have to start that rebellion in their own home--as if their life is on the line, because it truly is. Mothers who don't put up a fight will enter the millennium with an invisible handicap that they'll surely pass on to their daughters and granddaughters. The time to do something about it is not later but right now; to do something not halfway but all the way."

These forceful words were written by psychologist Carin Rubenstein, an activist shouting for the strengthening of mothers and the cooperation of fathers. Men genuinely must understand and accept the need for their shared participation in family affairs, she maintains. They must give up their narcissistic belief that the American legacies of individualism and personal happiness are for them alone. Rubenstein is calling on women to shed their sacrificial cloaks, to respect who they really are. The role of society, she implores, is to reinforce those fundamental principles and values.

A sacrificial mother is unable to treat herself to the simplest of pleasures: relaxing in a warm bath, leisurely strolling through the park, taking dancing lessons, carving out private time for reading the latest bestseller, developing an appealing hobby...