The question.

• Author: Hirsch, Stewart
• Position: Ask the Authorities

In order to have diverse points of view for this month's question, we have reached both within and outside LMA and the legal profession.

THE QUESTION

I am working with an administrative colleague who can be professionally "unhelpful" and, as a result, can sometimes make it difficult for me to do my job (marketing director) as well as I would like. Now that the holidays are here, I want to find a way to make that relationship work better. Any ideas for resolutions?

RESPONSES:

Leslie Meagley

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Why wait for the holidays to begin improving a relationship? Try to schedule time to talk with this person right away, whether it's over coffee or in their office. As Susan Scott says in "Fierce Conversations": "Our lives succeed or fail one conversation at a time."

Here are some tips that I've often found helpful when encountering challenging relationships:

* Assume positive intent. Start by assuming both of you have a common goal, whether it's meeting a deadline, delivering top notch service or exceeding a partner's expectations.

* Understand their perspective and take responsibility for yours. It takes two to build a relationship.

* Be specific and straightforward about the problem and how you'd like to resolve it.

* Try to find common ground and/or shared goals.

* Talk to the person directly and be fully present. No email conversations, and don't text or email while you are speaking with them.

* Finally, plan for more than one meeting. It often takes multiple conversations to develop the mutual trust and respect that is lacking right now.

* "Crucial Conversations" by Patterson, Grenny, McMillan, Switzler is another excellent resource.

Leslie Meagley is director of marketing for Perkins Coie LLP. She is a founding member and past president of the LMA's Northwest chapter.

Laura Freedman Pedrick

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Usually, it's not that they don't want to help. Like us, our colleagues have competing demands on their time. Typically, we don't have the same genetic make-up. We don't speak the same language. However, since we both want to support our attorneys successfully, we, in marketing, have to communicate in a way that admin people understand. Here are some ideas that have worked for me:

* Develop a personal relationship. We tell our attorneys how valuable it is to develop relationships. We need to do the same with our admin colleagues.

* Use some of the resources most familiar to them as part of your project management...