The price of conflict: what you need to know.

• Author: Dee, Kevin M.
• Position: HR Matters

Why can't we just all get along? How many times have we heard that refrain? Well, I have some good news and some bad news: Interpersonal conflict is a part of life and is here to stay. In fact, conflict is an inevitable and natural part of all relationships at work and at home.

Conflict itself is not the problem--unresolved conflict is the problem.

The good news is that there are beneficial ways to manage conflict. The bad news is that it is often uncomfortable to implement changes in organizational culture. It is, however, well worth the effort! When an organization learns how to allow civilized disagreement to flourish and resolve, it empowers and energizes everyone. Here's what you need to know.

Significant Costs

It begins with understanding what workplace conflict is all about and the costs of poor conflict management. The costs for poor conflict management in an organization have significant impact on morale, productivity, and turnover.

Turnover Costs as an Example

* Your annual salary: $ _____

* Multiply times 1.5 (150%) = $ _____ = Investment in you by your employer

* Multiply times 1.5 (150%) = $ _____ = Cost of replacing you

* Multiply times 0.6 (60%) = $ _____ = Average role of conflict in voluntary terminations

* Multiply times number of voluntary terminations in your organization = $ _____ = Annual cost of conflict to your organization for Turnover

Managing Conflict

The cost of poorly managed conflict in your workplace is significant to say the least. And yet, most organizations either do not have conflict management plans or do not allocate the resources and time to make them effective. Policies are just not enough without follow through and training on how to solicit and manage healthy conflict so it gets resolved.

Conflict resolution starts with how you were raised to deal with conflict. We all grew up in some sort of a family dynamic where we learned how to deal with conflict. You might have learned to avoid it all costs i.e., "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."

Maybe you had to sleep on it before surfacing an issue or maybe you just wanted to talk about it. Possibly you were raised that as soon as issues arose you ran to that other person, got in their face, and wanted to discuss it right away. However you were raised determines how you initially approach conflict and how you prefer or were expected to handle it.

Your life experiences also have a strong impact on your conflict style. As an adult you...