The phones are smart, what about their users?

• Author: Tumlin, Geoffrey
• Position: Life in America

ADVERTISEMENTS promise that the latest smartphones, tablets, laptops, and other gadgets will put blazing speed at our fingertips, enable us to multitask like an octopus, and ensure that we never miss a thing. Because new technology promises--and does--a lot for us, it is no surprise that we have fallen in love with it but, in our enthusiasm for our new digital communication tools, we have lost sight of the people behind the tools. It is time to turn that around with a reality check.

Our devices are great, but they cannot do quite as much as we think they can. In fact, when it comes to communication, people can do much better. Until we restore a more people-centered approach, we will continue to feel unsatisfied and largely unfulfilled by our interactions--despite having the most powerful connection and transmission devices in human history in the palms of our hands.

In truth, because of the incredible opportunities our devices offer for connecting with others, today really could begin a golden age of communication, but that will happen only if we stop romanticizing the technology and start improving our communication. We need to lower our hopes for our "smart" devices and raise our expectations of each other.

There are ways to develop productive communication habits, to improve conversations, and to use our powerful digital devices to bring us closer to our higher-order aspirations. Just because our new devices enable us to reach out and touch someone with a few simple clicks does not mean communication itself has gotten any easier. However, because our interactions involve quirky, emotional, and sometimes unpredictable people, we cannot eliminate imperfections from communication.

Our devices greatly have simplified the sending and receiving of messages, but there is more to communication than that. Communication does not occur until the other person understands our message, and that has become the missing link in far too many conversations.

If you think about how we communicate today, you will realize that we approach the majority of our exchanges with expediency in mind. We want to plow through our inboxes, respond to new text or voice messages as soon as they come in, and get face-to-face conversations over quickly so we can move on to the next thing. The communication tasks that pile up every day make it awfully tempting to fire off quick messages or speak abruptly and think that our work is done.

However, adding an extra...