The (parenting) rules have changed--or have they?

• Author: Lauck, Jenny
• Position: Life in America - Column

I HAVE BEEN MANIC the last couple of days--and my kids are starling to lose patience with my sorry self. I have told them, "No. Not now. Mommy's busy. I can't. I don't. Later. Wait." I know I have been expecting a lot and giving the bare minimum. I have a lot of catch-up work to do and, while I sit in front of the computer trying to deliver some of the work I have promised to other people, my children have been pushed away repeatedly. Chubby hands reach for the mouse in frustration, and I have found myself snarling at the owner of those delicious dimples, "Don't touch."

My youngest is going through a big identifying phase. Everything gets a label, and she usually prefaces the label with "my." My shoes. My toy. My house.

She managed to clamber up into my lap while I tried in vain to continue typing. She sucked her thumb and rested her cheek against my chest as I tried to work around her. After a minute or two of that, I began to gather her up into my arms so that I could once again find another place to put her, away from my working zone.

She grabbed both my ears in her tiny talons and put her nose to my nose and said, "My Mommy." I could not help it. I just started to cry. I do not know how work-at-home parents do it. I settled myself on the couch with my baby clinging to me with a ferociousness that let me know I have put her down and walked away one too many times in the last couple of days.

We sat there, just leaning on each other, breathing in tandem. My son approached, and quietly sat next to me and pulled my arm around his shoulders. He melted into my side, and we sat together quietly. Both kids gave me gentle, almost subconscious kisses on my arms, my shoulders, whatever they could reach. It was a benediction, full of the promise of forgiveness for the lack of care I sometimes take with the precious gifts I have been given.

Building the perfect baby

I am fascinated by the current Build a Smarter Baby Brain trend, by the lengths to which parents feel compelled to go to give their progeny an edge. Frankly, this idea that there is only one thing better than having a baby, and that is having a smart baby, makes me almost unbearably sad. I have a smart baby--I have two, actually, but one is, I think, the ubersmart baby that these parents are hoping and striving for, and I want to say to them, be careful what you wish for.

Henry tests in the 99th percentile for verbal ability; he knows more words than most children his age, and can use...