The Mourning After.

• Author: Vecchio, Ken Dolan-Del
• Position: PSYCHOLOGY - Grieving over death of pets

THE LOSS OF A PET can bring as much grief as the loss of some human friends and family members. This makes sense when you consider the role our animal companions play in our everyday lives. You cared for your pet's every need and, because they could not speak, you learned to communicate in other ways. Such caring builds intimacy similar to that found between parents and their infant--love without conflict, jealousy, or any of the other complications found in most relationships.

So, when a pet dies, the depth of your grief reflects your loss of a special relationship. Although many of us love our pets the way we love our children, in the immediate aftermath of this unique loss, too often people say things like, "Just get another one." Instead of devaluing your grief over the loss of this important relationship, as others may advise, embrace your sorrow. Your grief is important, for it will lead you to healing and teach you important things about what matters most in life.

Here are some tips for those grieving the loss of a pet:

Share your grief with empathetic friends. Spend time with people who understand your closeness with your pet. Avoid the "get over it" types, those who see animals as if they were nonliving objects.

Attend a pet loss support group. They provide a concentrated dose of social support. Meeting with others who also grieve and share similar emotions can boost one's healing greatly.

Keep moving. Exercise is a healer. It enables feelings of well-being and calm, improves sleep, and brightens your mood.

Be...