The Meaning of the Sperm Donor for Heterosexual Couples: Confirming the Position of the Father

• Author: Veerle Provoost,Ann Buysse,Elia Wyverkens,An Ravelingien,Guido Pennings,Petra De Sutter
• DOI: http://doi.org/10.1111/famp.12156
• Published date: 01 March 2017
• Date: 01 March 2017

The Meaning of the Sperm Donor for Heterosexual

Couples: Confirming the Position of the Father

ELIA WYVERKENS*

VEERLE PROVOOST

†

AN RAVELINGIEN

†

GUIDO PENNINGS

†

PETRA DE SUTTER

‡

ANN BUYSSE*

In the literature, relatively little attention has been paid to the meaning of donor involve-

ment in the intimate couple dyad. The current study aimed to enrich our understanding of

couples’ meaning-making regarding the anonymous sperm donor and how they dealt with

the donor involvement. Semi-structured interviews were conducted with nine couples, who

had at least one child conceived through sperm donation. Our thematic analysis showed

that the donor conception was seen as a different path to create a normal family. Once the

family was formed, most couples avoided talking about the donor because it was perceived

as disrupting men’s growing confidence in their position as father. Participants tried to

confirm the position of the father to protect the family relationships. Uncertainties about

how they were perceived as parents showed the continuing dominance of genetic ties within

our social discourse. Participants also dealt with reminders of the donor in their daily life.

Overall, they tried to manage the space taken up by the donor and to protect the position of

the father. We relate our findings to literature on topic avoidance and shared obliviousness

in families. For counseling practice, it could be useful to explore couples’ meaning-making

about the donor as this seemed to serve family functioning.

Keywords: Infertility; Family Relationships; Gamete Donation; Qualitative Research

Fam Proc 56:203–216, 2017

INTRODUCTION

Having biological children is an important life goal for most couples. However, for a

fairly large number of heterosexual couples—approximately one in six—fertility

problems render natural conception difficult (Boivin, Bunting, Collins, & Nygren, 2007;

Covington & Burns, 2006). Infertility forces people to review their life goals and commit-

ments (Glover, McLellan, & Weaver, 2009), and may cause feelings of uncertainty about

their romantic partnership (Steuber & Solomon, 2008). Studies on the effects of infertility

*Department of Experimental-Clinical and Health Psychology, Faculty of Psychology and Educational Sci-

ences, Ghent University, Ghent, Belgium.

†

Department of Philosophy, Bioethics Institute Ghent, Ghent University, Gent, Belgium.

‡

Department of Reproductive Medicine, Ghent University Hospital, Gent, Belgium.

Correspondence concerning this article should be addressed to Elia Wyverkens, Department of Experi-

mental-Clinical and Health Psychology, Faculty of Psychology and Educational Sciences, Ghent Univer-

sity, H. Dunantlaan 2, 9000 Ghent, Belgium. E-mail: elia.wyverkens@ugent.be.

We thank all the families for participating in this study. All the other members of the research team are

acknowledged for their efforts in recruitment, interviewing, transcribing, and team discussions: Hanna

Van Parys, Inez Raes, Isabelle Stuyver, Sara Somers.

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Family Process, Vol. 56, No. 1, 2017 ©2015 Family Process Institute

doi: 10.1111/famp.12156