The Many Faces of Depression

AuthorJeena Cho
Pages26-27
Even though I was a psychology major in col-
lege, it caught me o guard when my thera-
pist said I had high-funct ioning depression. I
didn’t feel sad, I just felt numb. I was emotion-
ally detached fr om myself and others. Yet, I told
myself I was fine becaus e I woke up each morn-
ing, showered, got dressed, showed up to work,
did everyth ing I needed to and went to the gym before
heading home at the end of the day. Treatment involved
a combination of talk therapy, a low-dose antidepressant
for six months and a lot of self-care.
When I am doing my presentations on lawyer well-
being, I make a point to tal k about the many faces of
depression. Sure, for some, depression can look as you
might imagine: the inabilit y to function or fulfill one’s
daily responsibilitie s and to be in a constant state of
gloom. But this isn’t true for everyone. As you’ ll see from
the stories below, there are many face s to depression and
many paths for getting bet ter.
DON’T GO IT ALONE
Stuart Mauney, a part ner at Gallivan, White & Boyd in
Greenville, South Ca rolina, started ex periencing signs of
depression in 1992 after hand ling a case that was partic-
ularly challenging. He had les s energy and lost interest in
most things. He was irr itable and had trouble concentrat-
ing and making decisions. Mau ney describes waking up
each morning more tired th an when he went to bed. Even
though he would be at work for hours, he wasn’t accom-
plishing what he needed to do.
Mauney finally confided in h is wife, who was very
understanding and encourag ed him to seek professional
help. He saw a psychiatrist and went on antidepressant s.
“Depression is a forever illness—it is for me … It’s a medi-
cal problem,” Mauney says. “I was sick, and I got help.”
When the depression aected hi s productivity
at work, he knew he had to tal k to the managing
partner about what was going on. “I wa s fighting
for my job.” He told the managing partner he was
getting better a nd getting help.
Mauney was also being con sidered for partner.
“The firm ext ended by six months the timing in
which they were going to consider me. I became a pa rt-
ner, and I’m still at the firm.”
Over time, he’s incorporated other t echniques for main-
taining his well-bei ng. “I started meditating regula rly. It’s
about learning to control my thoughts a nd looking for the
middle ground in a situation.”
Mauney is now a frequent speaker on the topic of law-
yer mental health and depression.
LIFE CHANGES
Rebecca Ams ter, a lawyer and mar riage and fam-
ily therapist in Florida, st arted experiencing depression
after the birt h of her son. “I had to go through a redefi-
nition of who I was. I thought of myself as a black-suit ,
red-lipstick, high-heel-wear ing divorce litigator. Then
suddenly, I became a mom.” This shift seemed inconsis-
tent with her past persona of a lways being organized. So
it came as a shock to rea lize she “didn’t even have a jacket
that fit because I was bre astfeeding.”
When her son was about 13 weeks, Am ster went to her
OB-GYN, who a dministered a 10-question mental healt h
checklist. One of the ques tions was about suicide and
harm to the baby. She recalls t hinking: “I can’t commit
suicide because I have to be good for the baby. There was
this guilt. I c an’t hurt myself because it would be bad for
the baby.” She now knows this is typical of post partum
depression.
Her doctor prescribed Proza c in the smallest dose. She
On
Well-
Being
SHUTTERSTOCK
The Many Faces
of Depression
The day-to-day reality of the disease
may not look like you think
By Jeena Cho
Practice
26 || ABA JOURNAL APRIL 2019

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