The gender games.

• Author: Clinton, Kate
• Position: Unplugged

In a breather from an epic good monster vs. bad monster tickle fight with my four-year-old across-the-hall neighbor, he looked at me and asked, "Are you a boy?" I said, "No, Will. I'm a girl." My dear partner overheard our exchange, leaned in, and explained, "She's not a boy. She's gender nonconforming.

My galpal then went on to explain that people expect girls and boys to wear certain clothes, play certain sports, and act certain ways. When they don't, it sometimes confuses people. She concluded, "But Kate is definitely a girl." Will seemed perplexed but accepting, the very definition of free will, and we resumed our throw-down.

[ILLUSTRATION OMITTED]

Will and his six-year-old sister also seem confused that we are not getting married. Lucy asked, "You mean you are just going to live together?" It came across as puritanical, but what they really wanted was the party. Some people never outgrow that.

Which is what I thought one Sunday morning while motoring through the Sunday New York Times Styles section to The Vows to find out if any lesbians had gotten gay-married. A headline, "A Boy or Girl? Cut the Cake," stopped me. It was right under another story, "Don't Call Her a Trophy Wife."

According to the Times article and several popular mommy websites I perused without a maternal permit, gender-reveal parties are challenging the traditional baby shower. See? People love parties.

At such parties, the expectant couple discovers the sex of their child not in the sterile confines of a sonogram room but in the bright lights and warm embrace of thoroughly mimosaed family and friends. Please, no presents.

Some couples open a sealed envelope and read the sonogram. Think Oscars. Others cut mohel-like into a neutrally frosted, special order "reveal cake" to discover a blue or pink filling. Think Hostess Twinkies. I don't know what they do for triplets, but it might explain cupcake mania.

I have no quarrel with the parties, nor have I been invited to any. Too bad. What I take issue with is this: Gender-reveal parties are actually sex-reveal parties. Maybe celebrants don't call them sex-reveal party because it...