The fake news president.

• Author: Durst, Will
• Position: OFF THE MAP - Donald J. Trump

Whether you love or hate Donald J. Trump, you've got to admit he's a crackerjack salesman with an uncanny gift for manipulating the press like a three-armed clown juggling pin-pulled grenades on an express elevator to hell.

[ILLUSTRATION OMITTED]

Yes, we're talking about him again. Why? Because every single day something he touches starts smoking. You've heard of the Midas touch? Donald Trump has the Hades touch. His very being is constructed to strike the flint that shoots a spark towards the tetchy kindling he calls staff.

At least in the Eastern and Central time zones, folks experience the pandemonium in real time. But those of us out West are doubly disconcerted, constantly waking up to wonder, "What fresh human bonfire is already burning?" In California, while we fitfully slept, the Orange Firestarter had a three-hour head start to light another fuse to Armageddon.

In his first White House press conference, the forty-fifth President ignited new conflagrations by calling the media "dishonest," then disputing both logic and math. Say what you will, he does punch upward. Logic and math are not lightweight opponents.

The real-estate-developer-turned-apprentice-leader-of-the-free-world is an expert in ranting and raving while holding the press to standards he refuses to live up to or believe in. He repeated the bizarre claim to have won more electoral votes than anybody since Reagan, which is only true if you don't count Clinton, Bush One, or Obama.

When a reporter pointed out the discrepancy, Trump dismissed him with, "Well, I don't know, I was given that information." Presumably by the same people who told him he won the debates, enjoys widespread popularity, and has accomplished more than any other President at this juncture in his reign.

Trump mentioned ratings numerous times. He gets good ratings. CNN has lousy ratings. He eats Ratings Bran for breakfast. From out of nowhere he proclaimed a "nuclear holocaust would be like no other," which is like saying total human extinction would be odd. You get the feeling he'd be OK with one as long as the ratings were huge. Which they would be, initially. Later on, not so much.

Anything Trump doesn't like or disagrees with gets labeled "fake news." Since the election he's jumped on the phrase like an...