The Experiences of Sexual Minority Mothers with Trans* Children

• Author: Samuel H. Allen,Judith L. Weiner,Abbie E. Goldberg,Cat Munroe,Katherine A. Kuvalanka
• Date: 01 February 2018
• Published date: 01 February 2018
• DOI: http://doi.org/10.1111/fare.12226

K A. K Miami University

S H. A University of Maryland

C M Miami University

A E. G Clark University

J L. W Northrop Grumman

The Experiences of Sexual Minority Mothers with

Trans* Children

Eight nonheterosexual (i.e., bisexual, lesbian,

bi/pansexual) mothers with trans* children

between 6 and 11 years of age participated in

semistructured interviews in which they dis-

cussed the intersections of their own sexual

minority identities with their children’s gender

identities or expressions. Transfamily theory

was utilized to understand how heteronor-

mativity and cisnormativity operated in these

families’ lives. Initial lack of awareness among

most of the mothers regarding trans* identities,

as well as efforts by some to curb their chil-

dren’s gender expressions, paralleled previous

reports on primarily heterosexual parents with

trans* children. Having sexual minority identi-

ties and experience with LGBTQ communities

was benecial for some mothers but seemingly

disadvantageous for others, in that some experi-

enced blame for their children’s trans* statuses,

often due to the fact that these mothers identied

as queer themselves. Findings reveal complex-

ities in how participants were inuenced by

heteronormativity and cisnormativity and have

Department of Family Science and Social Work, Miami

University,Oxford, OH 45056 (kuvalanka@miamioh.edu).

KeyWords: Cisnormativity, LGBT families, queer parenting,

transgender children.

implications for those looking to learn more

about queer parents’ experiences raising their

trans* children.

The lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and

queer (LGBTQ) rights movement in the United

States has experienced major successes recen-

tly—two of the latest being the legalization

of nationwide marriage equality rights for

same-sex couples (National Conference of

State Legislatures, 2015) and the eradication

of the nal state law that had explicitly barred

same-sex couples from adopting (Reilly, 2016).

Meanwhile, rights and protections for trans* per-

sons have been slower to materialize( Movement

Advancement Project, 2015). Indeed, a source

of tension within the LGBTQ rights movement

(dickey, 2016) is the reality that mainstream

LGBTQ organizations chose to focus much of

their resources and attention on the ght for

marriage equality (Chauncey, 2009) amid the

intense stigma and violence faced by trans*

individuals (Haas, Rodgers, & Herman, 2014).

We use the term trans* to be inclusive of

all individuals whose gender identities do not

align as typically expected with their assigned

sex at birth, including those with binary (e.g.,

female-to-male, male-to-female) and nonbinary

70 Family Relations 67 (February 2018): 70–87

DOI:10.1111/fare.12226

Experiences of Sexual Minority Mothers with Trans* Children 71

(e.g., genderqueer, gender uid) gender iden-

tities, and those whose gender expressions

diverge greatly from societal gender norms

(e.g., “princess boys”). Although many use

transgender to denote such inclusivity of iden-

tities, when used in reference to children, the

term often signies a binary, cross-gender

identication (Ehrensaft, 2012). Trans* youth

in particular have faced alarming rates of dis-

crimination and violence at the hands of family

members and peers (Grossman, D’Augelli, &

Salter, 2011; Kosciw, Greytak, Palmer, & Boe-

sen, 2014), and appear to be at elevated risk for

depression and suicidal ideation (Grossman &

D’Augelli, 2007; Russell, Ryan, Toomey, Diaz,

& Sanchez, 2011; Toomey, Ryan, Diaz, Card, &

Russell, 2010). Accordingly, the LGBTQ rights

movement has been urged to turn its attention

toward combating the stigma and discrimination

trans* individuals confront in their everyday

lives (Ball, 2016).

Researchers have identied family accep-

tance as a positive inuence on trans* youth’s

emotional and behavioral health that helps buffer

them from some negativeconditions (Ryan, Rus-

sell, Huebner, Diaz, & Sanchez, 2010; Simons,

Schrager, Clark, Belzer, & Olson, 2013). For

example, research examining the well-being

of trans* children between 3 and 12 years of

age and with supportive parents found that

those who were cross-gender-identied and

had socially transitioned (i.e., those assigned as

girls at birth who were living as boys and vice

versa) did not differ statistically from a control

group of cisgender children on a measure of

depression and had only marginally higher

levels of anxiety (Olson, Durwood, DeMeules,

& McLaughlin, 2016). Further, clinicians have

observed that the anxiety and distress exhibited

by many trans* children dissipates immedi-

ately after the children are allowed to freely

express their gender identities (Ehrensaft, 2012;

Hill, Menvielle, Sica, & Johnson, 2010). Thus,

leading clinicians specializing in gender (e.g.,

Edwards-Leeper, Leibowitz, & Sangganjana-

vanich, 2016; Hidalgo et al., 2013) advise

parents to be supportive and to follow their chil-

dren’s lead, as developmentally appropriate, as

children explore and express their “true gender

selves” (Ehrensaft, 2012, p. 341).

“Paths to acceptance” for parents of trans*

children may be relatively easy or difcult

(Hill & Menvielle, 2009, p. 254). Initially,

parents may assume that children’s gender

nonconformity is a phase and police children’s

gender-related behavior (Hill & Menvielle,

2009; Kuvalanka, Weiner, & Mahan, 2014).

Upon acceptance, parents may face resistance

from others, such as extended family and com-

munity members (Johnson & Benson, 2014;

Kuvalanka et al., 2014). The limited research on

parents of trans* children has focused primarily

on heterosexual parents. Yet we argue that

sexual minority parents likely experienced some

degree of marginalization in relation to their

own sexual orientation identities. Accordingly,

they may have unique perspectives and expe-

riences that inuence their understanding and

acceptance of their trans* children (Lev, 2010).

B

Goals of Study

In the present study, a qualitative subset data

analysis (Radina & Downs, 2005), we sought to

address the aforementioned gap in the literature.

Eight sexual minority (i.e., bisexual, lesbian, and

bi/pansexual) mothers of trans* children were

interviewed for a larger study of 49 families with

trans* children. These eight participants spoke

about the intersections of their own queer sexual

identities (we use the term queer interchange-

ably with sexual minority) with the developing

gender identities and expressions of their chil-

dren, revealing ways in which their own iden-

tities inuenced their reactions to, and concep-

tualizations of, their children’s gender develop-

ment. The following research questions guided

our analysis:

1. (How) do the mothers’ own nonheterosexual

sexual identities play a role in their personal

reactions to and understanding of their chil-

dren as trans*?

2. (How) does societal heteronormativity and

cisnormativity inuence these mothers’ per-

sonal reactions to and understanding of their

children as trans*?

Theoretical Perspective

Transfamily theory (McGuire, Kuvalanka, Cat-

alpa, & Toomey, 2016) informed our analysis.

McGuire et al. (2016) expanded on the queer-

ing framework proposed by Oswald, Blume,

and Marks (2005), which sought to decenter

heteronormativity. Oswald et al. described het-

eronormativity as “the implicit moral system or