The Dark Side of Deeply Meaningful Work: Work‐Relationship Turmoil and the Moderating Role of Occupational Value Homophily

• Date: 01 May 2019
• Published date: 01 May 2019
• Author: Carrie R. Oelberger
• DOI: http://doi.org/10.1111/joms.12411

© 2018 John Wiley & Sons Lt d and Society for the Adva ncement of Management Stud ies

The Dark Side of Deeply Meaningful Work: Work-

Relationship Turmoil and the Moderating Role of

Occupational Value Homophily

Carrie R. Oelberger

University of Minnesota

ABST RACT How are close personal rel ationships experienced by people in deeply meani ngful

work? Drawing upon in- depth interview data with 82 i nternational a id workers, I offer three

distinct contr ibutions. First, I find th at people who experience their work as deeply meaning ful

have high work devotion. I identify boundary inhibition as a mecha nism to explain why they

participate more wi llingly in overwork and errat ic work, despite givin g rise to time- and

trust-based conf lict in their relations hips. Second, I find that people wit h high work devotion

often also exper ience emotional distance in their per sonal relationships when their close others

don’t value their work – a context I call occu pational value heterophi ly. This disconnect ion-based

confl ict compounds the time- and trust-base d conflict and engenders an emotiona lly agonizing

situation, which I ca ll work-relationship turmoil. Thir d, when close others do value their partner’s

work – a context I call occupat ional value homophily – it fosters an emot ional connection and of fers

an avenue for work-relationship enrichment. Thes e findings draw upon deeply mean ingful

work to detail the multi -faceted work-relationship experience among those w ith high work

devotion.

Keywo rds: boundary i nhibition, deeply meaningful work , occupational value homophily,

work devotion, work-rel ationship conf lict, work-relationshi p turmoil

INTRODUCTION

At work, all these people are really smart, and inspiring, and great. But there is a

dark side of the work. I’ve seen, in this industr y, a lot of divorces and messed up

families, a lot of people who gave up personal opportunities, people who had good

relationships whose relationships never came to pass, who didn’t get married, or

Journal of Man agement Studi es 56:3 May 2019

doi: 10. 1111/j oms .124 11

Address for re prints: Carrie R . Oelberger, University of Minnesot a, 301 19th Ave South, Minneapolis, M N

55455, USA (coelberg@u mn.edu).

The Dark Side of Deeply Meaningful Work 559

© 2018 John Wiley & Sons Lt d and Society for the Adva ncement of Management Stud ies

people who were married and their marriages fell apart because of people’s com-

mitment to this job. That’s the dark side of the work.

– International aid worker [M07]

Across occupations and industries, employees increasingly desire work that feels mean-

ingful (Hurst, 2014; Twenge et al., 2010; Wey Smola and Sutton, 2002), as it provides

fulfilment (Berg et al., 2010; Kahn, 2007), enjoyment (Wrzesniewski et al., 1997), and

wellbeing (Ryan and Deci, 2001). Yet, people in meaningful work may find it all con-

suming (Bailey et al., 2017; Cardador and Caza, 2012; Schabram and Maitlis, 2017),

leading them to accept lower pay, dangerous conditions, and long hours (Bunderson

and Thompson, 2009; Vinje and Mittelmark, 2007). What are the implications, then,

for their relationships outside of work? Although research has alluded to the work-life

experience in meaningful work (see, for example, McCrea et al., 2011; Munn, 2013;

Tummers and Knies, 2013), we still lack an understanding of how personal sacrifice in

deeply meaningful work extends to workers’ close personal relationships.

Throughout history and across cultures, close personal relationships have been the sin-

gle most important factor in making life meaningful (Baumeister and Leary, 1995; House

et al., 1988). However, modern occupations demand ‘ideal workers’ who spend long

hours at work and dedicate their full attention to the endeavour (Kanter, 1977; Williams

et al., 2013). As a result, work confiscates time, energy, and attention from non-work do-

mains, which can engender negative consequences for employees’ private lives and give

rise to conflict (Greenhaus and Beutell, 1985; Perlow, 1999; Trefalt, 2013). The majority

of research on this topic has examined how the increasingly consuming nature of work

takes finite time away from caregiving responsibilities within the nuclear family, engen-

dering ‘work-family’ conflict (Hochschild, 1997; Jacobs and Gerson, 2004; Moen, 2003)

or away from domestic or leisure activities, giving rise to ‘work-life’ conflict (Orrange,

2007). To extend this research, I focus my attention on ‘work-relationship’ conflict, when

stress and strain arise in a relationship with ‘close others’ (e.g., spouse, family, friends) as

a result of the work performed by one or both people in the relationship. I define close

relationships as emotionally intimate relationships in which two people understand, vali-

date, and care for one another (Reis and Shaver, 1988).1 This focus on work-relationship

conflict extends work-family and work-life research in two respects. First, it broadens

the scope of who is considered important in one’s home life beyond the nuclear family.

Second, it takes a more expansive view of the considerations that impact the work-life

experience, moving beyond finite time, energy, and attention to also examine how the

more emotional components of one’s life are impacted by participation at work.

While work-relationship conflict most often arises when external employer demands

clash with workers’ preferences (Reid, 2015), for some employees it is exacerbated by the

socially-constructed ‘work devotion schema’, which brings purpose to their long hours

and fosters a deep dedication to work (Blair-Loy, 2001, 2003). When one has an emo-

tional connection to work, it is likely that work will generate positive, enriching effects on

employees’ private lives, as well as giving rise to tremendous sacrifice. Through present,

however, research has not fully resolved under what conditions either outcome would