The “Cougar” Phenomenon: An Examination of the Factors That Influence Age‐Hypogamous Sexual Relationships Among Middle‐Aged Women
| Published date | 01 October 2015 |
| DOI | http://doi.org/10.1111/jomf.12213 |
| Date | 01 October 2015 |
M A J T. C McGill University
The “Cougar” Phenomenon: An Examination of the
Factors That Inuence Age-Hypogamous Sexual
Relationships Among Middle-Aged Women
Using data from the National Survey of Family
Growth, the authors considered the prevalence
of the “cougar” phenomenon and the character-
istics of middle-aged women who reported hav-
ing sexual relationships with younger men in the
past 12 months. They found that roughly 13% of
sexually active women between ages 35 and 44
had slept with a man who was at least 5 years
younger. Contrary to conventional assumptions,
the results show that women with low incomes
and those who self-identify as “other race”
(not White or Black) are more likely to be in
an age-hypogamous sexual relationship. Rela-
tive to all other relationship statuses, previously
married women are the most likely to choose
younger partners. Finally, the results suggest
that age-hypogamous relationships are not sim-
ply “ings”; a majority of them last at least
2 years, and a sizable share of “cougars” are
married to their younger partners. These results
highlight the need to reconsider our conven-
tional understanding of women’s sexual rela-
tionships at midlife.
When it comes to heterosexual relationships,
choosing a slightly older man is the norm for
Department of Sociology, McGill University, 855
Sherbrooke West, Leacock Building, Room 712, Montreal,
Quebec H3A 2T7 Canada (milaine.alarie@mail.mcgill.ca).
This article was edited by Deborah Carr.
Key Words: dating, gender stereotypes, intimacy,mate
selection, midlife, sexual behavior.
women around the world, a partnering practice
referred to as age hypergamy. In the United
States, husbands marrying for the rst time are,
on average, 2 years older than their wives (Dar-
roch, Landry, & Oslak, 1999; Vera, Berardo,
& Berardo, 1985). Overall, nearly one third of
all husbands in the United States are at least
4 years older than their wives, but the reverse
(known as age hypogamy) is much less frequent.
Indeed, census data suggest that only 7.7% of
wives are at least 4 years older than their husband
(U.S. Bureau of the Census, 2012, Table FG3).
Empirical work has shown that age hypergamy
is not only quite common for marital unions but
also for sexual relationships more broadly, that
is, regardless of the commitment level in the
relationship. For instance, Darroch et al. (1999)
looked at the age gap between women and their
main sex partner and found that 38% of women
age 15–44 were in a sexual relationship with a
man at least 3 years older than they; in compar-
ison, only 10% of women were sleeping with a
man at least 3 years their junior.
Over the past decade, there has been an
increasing number of media portrayals and
discussions about “cougars”—the term often
used to refer to middle-aged women engag-
ing in age-hypogamous sexual relationships—
suggesting that we are witnessing the rise of
a new phenomenon. For instance, television
shows such as Sex and the City (1998–2004)
and Cougar Town (2009–present) or movies
such as Prime (2005) and Adore (2013) portray
middle-aged women having sexual relationships
1250 Journal of Marriage and Family 77 (October 2015): 1250–1265
DOI:10.1111/jomf.12213
The “Cougar” Phenomenon 1251
with younger men. There is also a growing
consumer market for “cougars,” with a prolifer-
ation of books advising women on how to nd
a younger male partner (e.g., Gibson, 2002),
dating websites (e.g., https://cougarlife.com),
parties, annual meetings, and boat cruises
organized for women interested in younger men.
The media portrayals of age hypogamy
in heterosexual relationships often present
“cougars” as White, afuent, and successful
women. Furthermore, women’s relationships
with younger men are generally depicted as
temporary ings that rarely culminate into a
serious commitment (Kaklamanidou, 2012;
Tally, 2006). Cultural representations of women
engaging in age-hypogamous relationships are
not always positive;indeed, scholars have shown
that media depictions of “cougars” often hold
these women up for ridicule or present them as
somewhat dangerous (Barrett & Levin, 2014;
Collard, 2012; Kaklamanidou, 2012). In many
ways, the term “cougar” is culturally loaded,
given that it includes these negative stereotypes
(Montemurro & Siefken, 2014). To avoid such
negative connotations, hereafter we refer to
older woman–younger man relationships as
age-hypogamous sexual relationships.
At present, there is little academic research on
the occurrence of age-hypogamous sexual rela-
tionships. This can be attributed in part to the fact
that little scholarly attention has been directed
at improving our understanding of middle-aged
women’s sexuality beyond health-related stud-
ies (Gannon, 1999; Montemurro & Siefken,
2014; Rostosky & Brown, 2000). The limited
amount of scholarship that has addressed age
heterogamy between heterosexual partners has
tended to focus almost exclusively on married
couples and has virtually ignored those involved
in less committed relationships. As a conse-
quence, our knowledge about the prevalence of
age-hypogamous sexual relationships (regard-
less of the commitment level) is very limited.
Furthermore, it is unclear who these women are
and to what extent they conform to the media
depictions of “cougars.”
With this study, we began to ll this gap in
the literature by answering two primary research
questions, using detailed data on sexual relation-
ships drawn from the National Survey of Family
Growth (NSFG) 2002 (see http://www.cdc.
gov/nchs/nsfg.htm). First, how prevalent are
age-hypogamous sexual relationships in the
United States? Second, what are the
sociodemographic and attitudinal character-
istics associated with middle-aged women who
engage in these non-conventional relationships?
Our focus here is on age hypogamy as a sexual
practice. Therefore, the term sexual relation-
ships includes any relationships in which the
two partners are involved sexually, regardless of
their commitment level (i.e., ranging anywhere
from marriage to a one-night stand).
B
Aging and Sexual Relationships: Gendered
Patterns
Scholarship on sexuality has established a
clear pattern of declining sexual activity at
middle age and beyond, as the proportion of
men and women with no sex partner increases
with age (Carpenter, Nathanson, & Kim, 2006;
Das, Waite, & Laumann, 2012). However, this
decline in sexual activity is not equal for both
men and women. For instance, Carpenter et al.
(2006) found that, among heterosexual 40- to
59-year-olds, a larger proportion of women
reported having no sex partners as compared to
men. Furthermore, middle-aged men are three
times more likely than women of the same age
to report having multiple sex partners at a given
point in time. Despite these gender differences
in sexual activity, the authors specied that the
majority (78%) of middle-aged women had
engaged in sexual activity with a partner in the
past 12 months.
Men and women also report different pref-
erences in terms of partner’s age. For example,
on the basis of a content analysis of 1,094 per-
sonal advertisements, Jagger (2005) found that
47% of “middle-aged” (35–44 years old) men,
compared to only 8% of women from the same
age group, were seeking a partner younger than
35. Looking at heterosexual men and women age
40–69, Montenegro (2003) found that 64% of
men, compared to 17% of women, reported pre-
ferring a partner who is at least 5 years younger.
Buunk, Dijkstra, Kenrick, and Warntjes
(2001) studied this question using a more
nuanced approach, asking both men and women
of different ages (individuals age 20, 30, 40,
50, and 60 years) to indicate their preference
for different types of relationships (from casual
sex to marriage). They found that men reported
different age preferences depending on the
level of commitment they wanted out of the
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