Ten Practices of the Super Mediator

• Author: Victoria Pynchon/Joe Kraynak (With)
• Profession: Mediator, author, speaker, negotiation trainer, consultant, and attorney with 25 years of experience in commercial litigation practice/Professional writer who has contributed to numerous For Dummies books
• Pages: 305-310

Chapter 18

Ten Practices of the

Super Mediator

In This Chapter

▶ Being a confident, respectful, and trusted guide to disputants

▶ Listening to and empathizing with the parties

▶ Using feedback to improve your performance

Y

ou’re not content with just being a mediator. You’re determined to excel

in the field and become a super mediator. In this chapter, I present ten

tips that’ll take you from average to excellent.

Exhibit Faith in Your Mediation Model

No matter what mediation theory or practice you follow — transformative,

facilitative, evaluative, faith-based, directive, separate caucus, joint session,

or a medley of several of them depending on the circumstances — exhibit

faith in the chosen process. (See Chapter 6 for info on different mediation

styles.)

Active disputes make people fearful, defensive, self-concerned, and tone-

deaf to the other party’s suffering. To brainstorm solutions, reframe issues,

and replace demonization with trust, the parties need to feel that you’re the

secure center of the process and be certain of your ability to guide them

through these perilous waters.

I once rafted Class V rapids through the Costa Rica rain forest in the driving

rain. We amateurs could smell the fear on our river guide as we prepared to

meet the day’s challenge. When he finally sat before us, our guide became the

calm center of the storm. “Keep your oar in the water,” he said, “and paddle

through your fear.”