Ted Cruz's tinfoil hat.

• Author: Durst, Will
• Position: Off the Map - Affordable Care Act implementation

One thing you got to give the rightest side of the Republican Party: They do have the ability to maintain focus. Like frozen lasers. Or stubborn puppies with a chew toy. Obamacare? No, sir. They don't like it. Don't like it so much, they are actually exhibiting interest in the Internet and have stopped referring to it as Al Gore's Interwebs, riddled with tubes and tunnels and chutes and ladders.

Lo and behold, they've become I.T. experts and are gloating over the Obamacare website rollout going less smoothly than a forty-foot-square steel donut rumbling down a pressed tin bridge with the reverb turned to twelve.

Buggier than the insect house at the London Zoo.

More crashes than Windows Vista through twenty-seven stories of skylights.

If Kathleen Sebelius oversaw the creation of the Cloud, it would be called the Smog and leak antifreeze.

Catch a Democrat or two not cowering under a It-Happens-to-Microsoft-Too tent and even they reluctantly mumble the website technology for Obamacare is so archaic it looks like Health and Human Services rescued it from Compuserve's trash using a dial-up modem connected to a Commodore 64.

Senator Ted Cruz (R-Crazyville) joked that Nigerian e-mail scammers have been quiet lately because they were all hired to run the Obamacare website. This created the double whammy of ticking off Nigerians and giving the Administration very bad ideas for quick potential fixes.

Though it was passed by both houses of Congress, signed by the President, and deemed constitutional by the Supreme Court, the Canadian-Cuban iCruz missile and his kamikaze caucus have made more than fifty attempts to kill the White Whale that is Obamacare, going so far as shutting down the government. Which raises the question: How many bites at the apple do you get before there is no more apple?

Cruz is the Captain Ahab of the anti-Obamacare crowd, though even he couldn't explain how he'd persuade President Obama to sign a bill that would extinguish Obamacare. You got a better chance of...