Tattle tales.

* Tutu tantrum: Greensboro Ballet Director Maryhelen Mayfield protested advertisements promoting the Greensboro Jaycees Chrysler Classic golf tournament as depicting dance as "not something a real man would do." The billboards show a golfer swinging, with the message, "As close to ballet as you can get and still retain your dignity."

* Home brews: Dale Earnhardt Jr. and his buddies each put away 12 to 15 beers a night, several nights a week, the race driver told Newsweek. "If I'm gonna drink, I'm drinking to get drunk." Don't tell Budweiser, his sponsor, which has been pushing responsible drinking.

* Overextended: Tired of folks of dubious kinship crowding the town pool on $40 family passes, the Landis City Council has redefined family -- six people living under the same roof. If there are more, it's $15 extra each.

* Invasive procedure: Asheville doctor Steve Mendelsohn has been sentenced to 24 hours of community service for what a prosecutor called "vigilante justice." He had jabbed hypodermic needles into the car tires of office workers who parked in spots reserved for patients.

* Sticky fingers: The North Carolina State Bar suspended Barry Nakell's law license for four years, then stayed its action for five years on condition he behaves. The Chapel Hill lawyer and former UNC law professor has been convicted of theft three times -- most recently for shoplifting a copy of A Civil Action.

* Mutton ventured: Ag students at Bandys High School in Catawba County were supposed to learn about the life cycle of sheep by raising a lamb, seeing it slaughtered and eating the chops. Bad idea, animal lovers bleated, so the...